Creative Musings

New Note Cards

2010-12-02T07:55:00.001-06:00

Ink Damask Thank You Card

Create custom thank you cards at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

Maya and Maxwell's First Christmas

2010-12-02T07:36:00.002-06:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

I just received this photo book the other day and am thrilled how it turned out! This is one of the projects I was working on in my last post. I created every page in Photoshop using Karen Funk's Christmas Magic kit and a few templates from Yin Designs.

I have several Shutterfly photo books now using both my designs and Shutterfly's own design templates. I love them! They also make great gifts! *wink wink*

Projects abound

2010-10-21T21:48:00.000-05:00

One of the hardest struggles of being a new mom, especially a new stay at home mom of multiples, can be losing interest in or more accurately TIME to do the things you once enjoyed. This was true for me. I used to knit, scrapbook, take photos of nature...all these things I used to create I put aside when I created the two most beautiful children in the world. (Sorry, I'm just amazed at these two little people.)

As much as I adore staying home with my children, I do miss creating. But with a long break comes a huge creative block. Every time I sat down to make a scrapbook page, it felt forced. But I've been searching for inspiration and inch by inch I'm chipping away at that block.

Here is my first attempt:

I downloaded a template from The Digital Scrapper blog to get me started. I wanted to enter the challenge, but was late. I have an 8x8 Shutterfly book sitting in my account to use for the kids first birthday this layout may or may not end up there.

There was another challenge which I did enter and I'm very pleased with this one:

I'm very proud of this page. I huge chunk of the creative block has broken off and I'm getting in the groove again!

Next project...this blog. Notice the new look? It's still a work in progress, but I'm getting there.

Then the other day my Real Simple magazine came. There was a gorgeous layout on chunky knits. I was especially drawn to a scarf that basically was a large knit ring that you wrap around your neck a couple times. It was about $35 at the Loft. (I tried to find it online, but they only had a lighter version of it.) It was a simple knit stitch so I ran out and bought some bamboo/wool yarn.

But that's for another blog post. Stay tuned...I haven't even mentioned the holiday's yet!

Really want to win this...

2010-09-19T15:45:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that g.c. for the Photoshop actions! Here's a link: http://ginaraemillerphotography.com/2010/09/post-processing-a-my-four-hens-giveaway/

I'm slowly working on starting a small niche photography business. At the kids first birthday party, I wanted to take all these photos...but I was also party hostess and coordinator and didn't have time or opportunity to grab the camera for many shots. Also, these were my kids! I didn't want them to look at the pictures in the future and wonder why Mommy wasn't at their party.

Thankfully my sister in law stepped in with my camera and caught a lot of those precious moments we can look back on, but what about the other moms out there?

My business is still in the works as I work on marketing, pricing and a portfolio. I've shot a couple events already and am happy to report that everyone has been pleased with my work.

More later! This contest has been a great motivator for me to get back to my blog. :)

Back again!

2010-09-18T12:22:00.000-05:00

It's a well known fact that we love Halloween! We actually start preparing Nov. 1 of the year before. It's even more fun with the kids. Last year they were Thing 1 and Thing 2 from Cat in the Hat.

(I was a Cat in the Hat)

So even though it's only September...I already have their costumes for this year.

Would you deny candy to these kids? I think not!

Gina Rae Photography still has her giveaway for Photoshop actions at Four Hens Photography: http://ginaraemillerphotography.com/2010/09/post-processing-a-my-four-hens-giveaway/

I've only played around with the freebie actions, but Four Hens has amazing actions!

More tomorrow!

Yeah, it's been awhile.

2010-09-17T11:09:00.000-05:00

So I have a lot to update. In fact that's why I haven't written...things just keep happening and I get further and further behind. Also I have 16 month old toddlers...so not much time to get much done on the computer. Oh and I'm starting my own business. AND I have to completely revise how I eat and exercise--doctor's orders. Scary.

More on that later....

But I do love giveaways! Especially photography/Photoshop giveaways. Gina Rae Photography is giving away a $40 give card to My Four Hens Photography. Here's the link: http://ginaraemillerphotography.com/2010/09/post-processing-a-my-four-hens-giveaway/#comment-20

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T10:53:00.000-05:00

This is my first Mother's Day with my children. It's a day that has been long coming, and seeing those shining faces wake me up this morning filled my heart with more love than I could have ever known.

The last two Mother's Days, I was pregnant. Two years ago, I didn't know I was pregnant for the first time. However, that pregnancy wouldn't last.

Last year, I was VERY pregnant with Maya and Maxwell. I was on bed rest with high blood pressure. Maya and Maxwell didn't even have names yet! They would end up missing Mother's Day by two days, but that's ok. They are almost one year old and I feel great!

But I believe I became a mother long before I first saw my children. I don't remember exactly when it happened, but it was about the time I started thinking less of myself and more of my future children.

I remember that episode of Friends where Chandler and Monica are meeting with a potential birth mother and ended up lying to her. Chandler went to the angry mother and tried to explain their actions. He said something like "I have a lot to learn to become a father, but Monica's already a mother...she just doesn't have a baby yet." (That was totally paraphrased.) I thought that was so beautiful.

I'm not the only mother I know who is celebrating a first Mother's Day today. So to the mothers celebrating their first and their nth Mother's Day, I wish you the happiest of days!

And to those mothers who don't have their babies yet, I wish you a Happy Mother's Day also.

Pampers Village: Connect with real parents like you!

2010-04-15T09:55:00.001-05:00

"When Maxwell and Maya were born the hospital used Huggies diapers. We were not impressed. So when we got home, we went out to try Pampers Swaddlers...we LOVED them! Now the kids have moved on to Cruisers, which we also love.

We also go through a lot of diapers, so we like a little reward. We signed up with the Pampers rewards program and every time we buy diapers or wipes, we enter the codes on the Pampers Village Web site. In return, we've traded in points for Sesame Street books, Shutterfly items, gift cards...etc.

It's a great program. I definitely recommend it to all moms!"

On Pampers Village, you can share tips, support, and experiences with real parents like you. You’ll discover more about parenthood through articles, videos, and online tools, and receive offers, samples, and coupons!

View >>

Help me raise money for March for Babies!

2010-03-19T10:44:00.003-05:00

March of Dimes is a cause very near and dear to my heart. I will be walking in the March for Babies walk on April 17, 2010.

Every day, thousands of babies are born too soon, too small and often very sick. I'm walking in March for Babies because I want to do something about this. And I need your help.

In May 2009, my twin daughter and son, Maya and Maxwell, were born at 36 weeks and 2 days. Maya weighed 5 lbs 10 oz. and Maxwell weighed 4 lbs 10 oz. I was fortunate to have the best prenatal care, but many women do not have this opportunity. Sometimes, even with the best prenatal care, babies are still born too small or too early. But every baby deserves the best chance, and that is why I am walking!

Maya and Maxwell doubled their weight quickly and are now becoming active toddlers. I'm excited to walk with them for March of Dimes!

Please support my walk. Making a secure donation is easy: just click the 'donate now' button on this page. Thank you for helping me give all babies a healthy start!

The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality.

A few of my new favorite things...

2010-02-08T11:02:00.000-06:00

As a mother of young multiples, it's very easy to forget the things that make you, YOU and focus exclusively on baby land. But every once in a while it's good to indulge just a little. Here are a couple things that made my life a little easier:

The Ipod Touch. No not an iPhone, but it has plenty of the features without the monthly charge. This was a lifesaver during the first couple months of motherhood. There are several great apps for parents, including Baby Geek. The most useful though, Just Light. It's simply a white screen that provides a soft light. I still use it during my before bed breathing checks. I can see them, but the light isn't bright enough to interrupt their sleep. And it's FREE! This gadget also provided middle of the night entertainment while I was up alone pumping milk for the next day. I played games, watched YouTube and read books.

Kashi Dark Mocha Almond bars, aka "Crack bars" Chocolate, almonds, fiber with a subtle rich coffee taste...enough said. NO one takes my Crack Bars.

Kindle, aka Otis. I never thought I could read on a gadget, but I downloaded the Kindle app on my iPod and read "The Book Thief" for book club only weeks after having my babies. This was my birthday gift from Andy and I love it. I read a lot of historical fiction so if I want to read more about the subject of the book, I can scroll down to the name or place and instantly access the Wikipedia entry. Yes, I can do this by going to my computer too, but I often read in bed at night. I would make mental notes to look something up, but always forgot. It's not for everyone, but it works for me!

This is a new discovery! I had a gift card to Bath and Body Works and was desperately in need of a good lotion for my winter dry skin. I'm kinda cheap and my other lotions were not doing anything. This costs $15, which is expensive for me, but I had a gift card. Wow! My skin feels as good as the babies!

A pop-up camera flash is one of my biggest pet peeves. I prefer not to use it at all, but the lighting in the house in the winter isn't the best, especially for those impromptu snapshots. Then I found the Opteka Universal Soft Screen Flash Diffuser. Wow! No more deer caught in the headlights photos. It fits over the pop up flash of your DSLR in seconds and the harsh flash is instantly softened. And it's less than $10.

Of course, I can't finish without a picture of my two most favorite things:

Maya and Maxwell--8 months

before I had the flash diffuser

Next time...my favorite baby related items that make life easier for mom and babies.

Busy, busy, busy...

2010-02-03T11:11:00.000-06:00

Ok I'm still lacking on the blogging thing.... Sue me.

Another house hits the market! Yes, we're finally moving! After almost 10 years and all the new toys from last Christmas, we're running out of room and need to expand. So our house will be officially on the market by the end of the week and we can start looking for a new home. I'm very excited! Even though Andy and I were dating when he bought this house, I really didn't have much say. So to me this will kinda be my first house. And the decor and organization will be how I set it up.

Here are some of our requirements:

at least 3 bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms
maintenance free siding
two living areas
a decent size kitchen with a dishwaster (goodbye dishpan hands!)
at least a two car garage
a good sized yard (preferably fenced in)

Here are some things we would like to have:

a dining room
first floor laundry
fireplace (I've just always wanted one.)
a finished basement

There's more...but I'm drawing a blank. We're really not expecting to have trouble finding something, but hopefully we can sell our house pretty quick.

Because I just don't have enough to do, raising almost nine month old twins and all, I decided that I needed to start making our own baby food. Ever since I was pregnant, I've read about how easy it was...even in my twins books. My friends did it too.

So I started with peas. Why? Good question. I HATE peas! We had a couple jars in the cupboard, but I've been putting them off. But Andy gave them peas one night and raved how much they loved them. And peas were the first recipe in my baby cookbook. And homemade pureed peas looked so much prettier than the Gerber variety.

I bought some frozen peas, a steam basket and used my new food processor.

My eager little testers...

It was pretty easy. However, Maya and Maxwell didn't feel the same about Mommy's peas as they did for Gerber's.

The short of it...both gagged then Maxwell vomited all over.

My first cooking experience for my children and my son vomits! I shared my news with the Facebook world, and was quickly assured that not many kids like their mom's peas. In fact I reread the section in that twins book and the author admitted that her twins didn't like peas either. Stupid cookbook.

I admit that I haven't tried again, but I would like to try some applesauce because that's their favorite, but I'm a little scared. Maybe Gerber isn't so bad after all...

New and Improved in 2010...

2010-01-17T20:44:00.002-06:00

I can't tell you how long I've written and rewritten this blog post in my head.

In 2009, I wrote only five times. After five years of infertility, I finally became a mother (x2!) but as I would sit down to write, my mind would go blank. Even now, I find myself struggling for words.

There's a couple of reasons for this. First, I have infant twins...I'm freaking exhausted and it's amazing I can manage to put a couple words together. Second, it's been a few years since I've really had to put a couple words together, which is sad because at one time writing was my job. My most recent corporate job didn't require stellar writing skills. And when you don't use it, you lose it.

After I became a mom, I wasn't sure what direction I wanted to take this blog. I started it as a way to express myself creatively and share my photography and scrapbooking. Along the way it became a sounding board with my struggle with depression and infertility and included many anecdotes about my fun loving dogs, who kept me sane for so long. The most natural transition, I think, would be to turn this blog over to the antics and milestones of my children. But I'm not going to do that.

Why? The other day I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the person looking back. A month or so ago, I found myself in a crowd of people and I didn't know how to act. I've been thinking about writing on this blog for months now, but I couldn't come up with words to write.

I think all women feel like they lose themselves a bit when they become mothers, but when you've been trying to become a mother for so many years, it's hard to look back and remember who you were.

But this is a new time...a new and exciting time. So Creative Musings will continue to be my creative musings on life and art and dogs, but will also reflect my new role and journey as a domestically-challenged stay at home mom of multiples. I can't promise great writing, grammar and spelling, but hopefully with a little practice I'll get there.

Welcome Maya and Maxwell!!!

2009-06-09T10:11:00.003-05:00

They're here!!!

Actually today they are 4 weeks old already! My due date was June 7th, but early in May I had to go to the hospital with pre-eclampsia (or high blood pressure). I was put on strict bedrest.

On the 12th I went in to have my blood pressure checked again and sure enough it was very high. I was immediately admitted to the birth center and by 6 p.m. I had two adorable babies via c-section at 36 weeks and two days.

Both Maya and Maxwell were sent to the NICU because of respiratory problems and were there for two days. We were so happy when they were released to my room!

Life since then hasn't been the easiest...there's been a lot of poop, cries (for them) and very little sleep (for us), but there's nothing like the feeling when I pick one of them up when they are crying and they calm down in a couple seconds and cuddle into my chest. I can't wait to see their first real smiles (although I've caught little previews when they are deep asleep!)

Sorry this is so short, but there hasn't been much time for the computer, as you can imagine! I did design their birth announcements above though.

Grieving...

2009-04-15T10:16:00.002-05:00

About 7 and a half years ago, Andy walked through the front door with a shaking mop of black fur and my life was never the same. I was never a dog person and was so nervous about being a dog owner. However, this little bundle of fur, known as Kelvin, grabbed my heart and became my best friend in every sense of the word.

Yesterday, Andy was with our beloved Kelvin as he closed his eyes and slipped out of this world.

The last couple days have been some of the hardest we've ever had to deal with...comparable with our miscarriage last June.

From the beginning, Kelvin was a nervous pup. He was nine months old when Andy brought him home because his cubemate's wife was expecting a baby and they couldn't keep the dog. Rather than seeing him go to the humane society, Andy offered to bring him home. It wasn't long before I fell in love.

Kelvin and I have had a special bond from the beginning. My favorite part of the day was coming home because he was so exciting to see me. His little butt would shake so hard that I thought his tail would fly off. He became my little Wiggle Butt.

Kelvin came into my life when I was extremely depressed. For nearly eight years, Kelvin has been there for some of the most troubling times of my life, including a five year devastating struggle with infertility.

However, Kelvin had struggles of his own. We don't know anything about Kelvin's early life and where he came from. It was apparent from the beginning that he had problems with dominance. We took him to puppy training classes and even met with a behaviorist. But Kelvin was extremely anxious. He barked at anyone walking by, hated when people came over and tried to dominate over Andy and I. Over the years, though, I became the alpha female in Kelvin's life, but that didn't stop him from lashing out at Andy and our lab Dakota. However, I constantly worked with him...trying to adjust his behavior.

Over the past couple years though, our training proved harder and harder, as Kelvin's outbursts became unprovoked. In a second he would turn into a different dog, not the sweet pup that curled up to me and licked my tears when I cried. He would go into a frenzy when anyone came to the door. If Dakota walked past him, he would strike out at her. Then he became extra protective of me, growling at Andy whenever he came near me, even biting him.

Then I finally became pregnant and we weren't expecting only one baby, but two. Many people say that dogs can tell when a woman is pregnant or at least know something is different. Both our dogs knew something was different. Each time we had a baby shower and brought more and more new stuff home, Kelvin became more and more anxious. He clung to me, never leaving my side and even wanting to come to work with me. Unfortunately, this made him even more hostile to Andy. Things came to a head on Easter Sunday when in "protecting" me, Kelvin snapped at Andy, then me for trying to correct him.

With the birth of our twins only a month away, Andy did some research on the Internet and read about Rage Syndrome, which is rare, but prevalent in spaniels. Reading the symptoms was like reading Kelvin's personality. Still, I wanted to speak with a professional. I made an appointment and after a long discussion of genetics vs. behavioral problems, we knew what had to be done...for us, our children and Kelvin himself.

God, I wish there could have been another way. I wish there was another option. For despite his problems, Kelvin, the TRUE Kelvin who struggled within his fears and anxieties, was the sweetest, funniest dog. If we could only rewire his brain! If only we could find a way to release him from the prison that was passed on to him from his parents.

The Kelvin I will treasure for the rest of my life is the puppy who looked up at me with those big brown eyes when he first entered our house and tried to hide under Uncle Steve's legs. I'll never forget his little Wiggle Butt dance when I got home. I'll never forget the time Andy brought him back home from the vet and he could barely walk, didn't want water or food, but when we brought out his ball, sprang into action, forgetting his charade. I'll always remember the time he dug into my knitting bag and found an apple I left in there and carried it around the house like a precious prize until I cut it up for him and Dakota to share.

Kelvin is the dog who turned an entire family into dog lovers. I grew up with an intense fear of dogs so we never had one growing up. But Kelvin was welcomed into my parents home for extended visits, even sleeping in their bed.

Kelvin, my buddy, wherever you are, you will always be my first baby. Daddy and I love you and will always love you and treasure you forever. I will never, ever forget you and everything you taught me. I'm so sorry, buddy. I love you.

Because I knew you...I have been changed for good.

Octomom is a loon!

2009-02-09T18:44:00.002-06:00

Well...I tried to give her a chance, but this chick is a few fries short of a Happy Meal (well maybe the entire order of fries and a couple bites of hamburger, as well.)

I watched bits of her interview. First, the only people who support you are your parents and yet you tell the world you had a dysfunctional childhood? Because you were an only child??? Really??? Second, you have 14 children, but think that you can go back to school and get your masters degree? What kind of delusional, fantasy world do you live in???

There are 16 people in this story I feel so sorry for...her children and her parents. She may love her children, I don't doubt that, but if she TRULY loved them...she would not risk their lives like that. Apparently it's still unclear who is going to pay the $1.3 million hospital bill.

The more I hear about this story...the angrier I get.

This upsets me...

2009-01-30T16:37:00.000-06:00

Everyone’s been asking me about the woman in California who delivered octuplets this week. Apparently I’m an expert on fertility treatments and multiples.

Usually I don’t pay attention to stories like these. But today I read that she’s also the mother of six other children. No one knows much about the mother (which I give her credit for), but from the article I read on msnbc, it sounds like she lives with her six children at her parents.

Now I hate to pass judgments on people I don’t know, without knowing their story, but I hate how the media romanticizes these extreme multiple births at the same time passing judgment on people who use fertility treatments to get pregnant in the first place.

A couple months ago, ABC News ran a story featuring the Jon and Kate Plus 8 family and the dangers of IVF. The story was the most ill informed story I had ever read. First of all, the couple they were using as an example didn’t even do IVF. They supposedly did a combination of fertility medications and IUI.

In a normal cycle, a woman releases one egg a month. If that egg is fertilized with a sperm, it may or may not implant into the awaiting uterine wall. With IVF, a woman’s ovaries are stimulated and harvested, then combined with the sperm and inserted a day or so later back in the uterus where it may or may not implant. Most doctors I have worked with, or know of, would never insert more than two or three (in the most extreme cases) to prevent the possibility of extreme multiples, a condition that is extremely dangerous to mother and babies.

You tend see more extreme multiple gestations from the combination of fertility meds and IUI. In these cases the ovaries are stimulated to release more than one egg. Sometimes the medications can produce 20 or more eggs (which was my case in many instances). At this point, most doctors will cancel the cycle to prevent extreme multiples or harvest the eggs for later IVF. But some do not.

When I initially heard about the octuplet story, I assumed it occurred from a combination of fertility meds and IUI, but the NBC story alludes that the mother had more than 8 embryos inserted into her uterus, which would actually be IVF. I’m hoping this is another instance of a poorly researched story, because I do not know of any doctor who would do such a thing….especially if the woman already has six children at home!

The story also mentions the fact that the mother rejected the idea of selective reduction, where they abort a number of the fetuses for the sake of the others. This is one of the cruelest realities of fertility problems…you finally are pregnant after so, so long, but have to make this awful decision. It was because of this that we were pretty conservative in our approach, but as someone who struggled for so many years without success, I can see the thought process of “the more you have, the more likely it will work.”

However, the story of the woman in California made me angry. I’m hoping there is more to the story than what has been printed so far, and I appreciate the mother’s decision not to go public. I guess I see fertility treatments as a way to help people, like us and many of our friends, to achieve the families they want. When I hear someone using such extreme measures to get pregnant, when she already has six children, I feel like she’s abusing and giving a bad name to a system that has helped so many.

I am very thankful for my twins. I cannot tell you how much I love them already. Both are pretty active, but shy away when Daddy wants to feel. I’ll be at 22 weeks this Sunday and have another ultrasound next week. My goal is to get everything out of the nursery (all the junk I’ve collected over the past 7 years) and basic furniture in by the time of my first shower the end of February. My birthday last week was fun, as I received mostly clothes for the babies.

Well that’s all for now. A bientot.

Drum Roll Please....

2009-01-08T20:48:00.003-06:00

It's a

Girl!!!!!!

It's a

Boy!!!!!!

We're having the perfect combination!!!! I cannot tell you how excited we are!!! Both babies are incredibly active and healthy.

Considering all we've been though, I can't believe how lucky we are!

I am on cloud 9!!!

Happy Holidays!!!

2008-12-31T10:08:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone is having a happy holiday season.

We are still thrilled in the Ives household, as we await the arrival of our twins in late spring.

Everything is going very well. Our last appointment was during 13 weeks (I’m at 17 now!). However my boy/girl theory has been blown out of the window because both were 6.8 cm and had heartbeats of 138 bpm. So who knows? We are going to find out this week though, as I have an appointment with the perinatalogist on Thursday. I hope they cooperate!

Last time it was such a relief to see them moving around and almost interacting with each other. At first both were lying in the same direction, with their heads toward my left. Twin A kept moving around, then when it was time to measure Twin B, he/she moved breech with his/her butt on the others head. Twin A didn’t appreciate it. They were both stretching and yawning. It was the most amazing sight I’ve ever seen.

I’m just starting to feel them move a round a bit, mostly at night, but sometimes while I’m in the car. In the last couple days my belly has really popped out, even though I’ve been “showing” for awhile. I was worried after my 13 week appointment because I hadn’t gained any weight in between my 8 week and 13 week appointments. However, the babies had grown and the doctors didn’t seem worried about it. I’ve been eating plenty also. I think the pounds are starting to come on now though.

It still seems so surreal though. I went through a really rough period after my first trimester, which I didn’t expect and was honestly a little ashamed about. I was really depressed, which is the reason for the long periods between updates. I’m starting to feel a bit better, but had a really hard time dealing with my feelings because we’d been trying for so long and shouldn’t I be happy? Unfortunately, I think the scars of infertility remain after pregnancy is achieved. It always seems too good to be true and even though this is what we wanted for so long, it’s still a big change. One thing I do know is that I am absolutely in love with both babies, which gives me strength to move on and do what’s best for them and myself…even if it means acknowledging feelings I’d rather not feel. At least I am familiar with depression and knew I wasn’t going (completely) crazy.

Well that’s all for now. I do have more to talk about, but it needs a segment of its own. And it’s a little emotional so I can’t really write it at work.

I finally do have ultrasound photos scanned too, but they are on my iPod and I don’t have wireless access here to get them. (Andy surprised me with an iPod touch for Christmas…I LOVE that thing!!!)

So expect more from me before the week’s out! I appreciate everyone’s comments and good wishes! Thank you so much for reading!

Update...

2008-11-16T15:05:00.003-06:00

I don't know if I still have readers out there, as it's been so long since my last post...but hopefully some of you have stuck around or will stop by to hear the good news...

We're pregnant!!!!

With TWINS!!!

As of today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant, so nearly out of the first trimester! And it has been a whirlwind of a couple months!

I found out I was pregnant the last week of September, although I did cheat and take a home test before my blood tests. I actually took three home tests before my blood test and all were positive. So I was feeling pretty good when I went in for my test on 9/29. Sure enough my HCG level was 199! On Oct. 1, I had a little scare when I woke up with some spotting. I still went to my test, but spent the rest of the day at home after talking to my nurses in Michigan. My HCG came back 329, which was less than they wanted (it's supposed to double or rise by at least 80%.) I was so scared...it was too much like last time. On Friday, they had me go in for another test and our fears were put aside when my HCG came back at 638!

Of course, anyone who has been through infertility treatments knows that there are several little milestones you have to go through until you can feel comfortable with your pregnancy. Our next milestone was the six week ultrasound on 10/15. Andy and I went to the afternoon appointment hoping that our baby would be ok...so imagine our surprise when we saw and heard two heartbeats!!! However, there were actually three implantations. #3 did not have a heartbeat and appeared to be a couple days behind the others. We made another appointment on Halloween to find out.

I was scared about the Halloween appointment. It was very much out of our hands if there were two or three babies. I tried not to think about it, knowing we'd be blessed either way, even though it would be sad if #3 didn't make it. As soon as the ultrasound was applied, we saw our twins...healthy as ever. #3 had continued to grow a bit, but never had a heartbeat. We were sad, but it was amazing to see the other two thriving. Baby A measured 1.85 cm and had a heartbeat of 158 bpm. Baby B measured 1.72 cm and had a heartbeat of 172 bpm.

Now it's too early to find out the sex of the babies, but I think Baby A might be a boy and Baby B a girl. I had a dream shortly after our first ultrasound that we had boy and girl twins. Of course, some say that the heartbeats look like two girls. We'll find out in January!

My due date is June 7, however the doctor expects that these will be May babies, as twins typically come earlier. I am showing a little bit already, as my uterus is already the size of someone 6 to 8 weeks ahead. I love maternity pants! Most of my regular pants are just a little too tight around the belly. Thank goodness for the maternity section at Target!!!

And whoever called it "morning" sickness, has never experienced it! I've spent much of these first months very sick. It hasn't been easy, but I never expected it to be and I'd rather throw up everyday than not at all.

Well that's the biggest news in the Ives house! I wanted to put up ultrasound pictures, but my printer/scanner is buried in what is going to be the nursery. We've got a lot of work a head of us!

Three's a charm?

2008-09-21T21:42:00.007-05:00

They all survived the thaw!

Last Wednesday, the doctor transferred all three embryos. They were unfrozen on Tuesday and all continued to divide over night. However, the doctor told us that the chance of triplets are very slim. The two bottom ones are the higher quality (about the same as the last two) and the top one is rated a "3+".

For the most part, I've spent the days since Wednesday flat on my back (which is aching now, by the way.) I could turn from side to side after four hours, but I didn't want to risk one straying toward a fallopian tube. This is about the time now that they should be implanting. I think I feel a couple twinges, but it's really hard to tell. I think I just want to feel something so bad.

So please keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next month and beyond!

I did leave bed rest on Saturday for about an hour to go see the Dragon Boat races on the river. I really wanted to get some photos for my class. I really need a telephoto lens. I picked three photos out of over 100, but I really was not pleased with any of the photos. But since I was laid up all week and it's Sunday night already...I don't have time to reshoot.

That's all for now. I hope to update more now that I dressed this place up a little bit.

When all else fails...

2008-09-13T23:38:00.009-05:00

try, and try again.

It's now been three months since last IVF cycle. Three months to heal, three months to climb out of that dark hole and reach toward hope. Here we are three months later and this week I will be going back to the clinic to have perhaps three frozen embryos transferred back to my body.

I'm terrified.

But I had a small taste of pregnancy...a small bit of hope. And I'm ready. I'm so ready to hold my child in my arms, sing them to sleep and comfort them when they cry. Of course, I'm ready for diapers, runny noses and baby puke too.

So wish us luck. Pray that they make themselves comfortable high in my uterus, far away from the fallopian tubes. Pray that they stay there for nine months.

In other news...I'm very weak.

Yeah...I got it.

But I'm so glad I did! I started my photography class last week and there are so many more advantages to me learning with this camera. I am so happy with it. Our first assignment is to bring in three "texture or feel" photos. To me, that means some awesome close up photography.

Here's what I'm bringing:

Actually that last one was taken last weekend with my S2 IS. The other two were taken this afternoon during a break in the rain.

I think I really like macro photography so a macro lens is on my wish list, and I could use another zoom lens. Yeah...photography can be an expensive hobby.

Speaking of hobbies, I'm particularly pleased with my latest knitting project:

This is for my new little nephew, Cade, who was born on Labor Day (funny enough!) I adapted the pattern from Lois Daykin's Baby Knits book. The pattern, Teddy Suit, is featured on the cover. I knew when I first saw this, I had to make it.

I did make some adjustments to the pattern though. First the pattern calls for Rowen Calmer yarn, which costs about $10 a skein. I substituted Knit Picks Comfy, which was $3 per skein. The yarns are very similar in fiber content and weight, although the Comfy does feel a little bit heavier. Comfy also does not have the same sheen as Calmer, but the cotton/microfiber blend should wear and wash well.

Next I finished the entire suit, and knit the first bootie. The frustration set in. First I couldn't figure out how to make this piece which was knit flat to a bootie. When I finally figured it out, it was much too large for a newborn (maybe even a three year old.) Since I had a lot of brown yarn left, I knit another using much smaller needles...still too big.

Perhaps it was the different yarn. But I did knit a swatch and had the right gauge. Even if it would've fit, it was still an awkward pattern. I considered leaving the booties off completely, but the suit with the footies were what sold me in the first place.

I went to Knitty Gritty's site at DIY.net and found an "ugg" bootie pattern I made a couple years ago. So I adjusted that pattern to fit the suit pattern. This included adjusting the pattern so that the instep was knit in seed stitch. I wrote the pattern out. I'll post it here soon if anyone is interested.

In the end I was much happier with the footie and the gift was well-received by Andy's brother and sister-in-law. I can't wait to see a photo of the little guy in it.

Well this was a long post. I'm off to bed. We have a busy week a head of us (followed by four delicious days of much needed bed rest.)

Less than one week until...

2008-07-30T21:43:00.004-05:00

That's right! Monday evening I'm going to be front row (that's freaking front row, people!!!) at the Idina Menzel concert. After the summer we've had...I am so looking forward to this! It really is the highlight of the summer for me. As corny as it sounds and is her music has helped me through a lot. (God that sounds lame.) It was Brave and Better to Have Loved that helped me realize my fears of continuing fertility treatments earlier this year. I think I'm going to need to hear those songs live to continue again after losing the baby last month.

We're on the schedule for our embryo transfer in September. I'm ready. I'm really ready to be a mom. My short pregnancy, even doomed from the start, just solidified that for me. I knew right when I lost the baby and even though I knew it had to happen and was going to happen...I still went into shock when it did. I don't remember ever feeling that empty. It was awful.

Then, of course, the next day this happened:

Yes, that is our basement....flooded. Yeah.

See why I'm so excited for a concert?

In other news, I've really excited to learn more about photography. It's been something that I've wanted to learn more about for a long time, but I've finally signed up for a class at the technical college this fall. So...if I'm going to learn more about photography....

I need a new camera!!!

Seriously, I've gotten a new camera for Christmas for the last two years. (Then another one three years before that.) But I need a DSLR camera. Really I do. I'm currently using a Canon PowerShot S2 IS and an A560. I'm leaning toward a Canon because I'm used to Canons and I think I have it narrowed down to the Rebel XSi or the XS (which is scaled down from the first mentioned and not out until next month sometime). It depends on what the XS ends up costing. Right now it's showing as $699 on Amazon, but have heard that it should drop a week or so after it comes out. I'm also going to be depending on Christmas sales.

Any suggestions? I'm still open. I really don't want to have to buy a new one in a couple years. (or next year.)

Well I'm chatty tonight. I'm off...

Update

2008-06-04T21:19:00.002-05:00

I wish I could say there's good news, but it has been a roller coaster couple weeks. I don't know where to start so I guess I'll start with our first hCG test.

5/19--I went to the doctor at 8 a.m. for my blood test. My IVF clinic in Michigan was going to get the results then call us after noon. I had taken a half day off so I could be home in case it was bad news. I really didn't know what to think. I had been having definite symptoms, but I was taking progesterone and estrogen. Around 10 a.m., my nurse from my local clinic called. My test was positive! I was pregnant! I ran downstairs (Andy and I work for the same company) and ran into Andy's office. "You're going to be a daddy!" We went outside. We couldn't believe it...we were shocked! However, we decided not to say anything because we had another test on Wednesday. I still took the afternoon off. I went to the bookstore and bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting," which I had been waiting to do for 5 years.

5/21--Another 8 am test. This time the results call came right before lunch. Not great news...my hCG level was 70, (it was 53 on Monday). So my levels did not double. We were told not to worry because sometimes it takes longer to rise than 48 hours. I was fine at first, but went home for lunch and just broke down. I ended up calling in and not going back to work. I had to test again on Friday.

5/23--I took the day off. I was terrified. The call came at 12:30. My level was 68. I was going to lose the baby. I was devastated. I stopped the hormones. So Memorial Day weekend was not a joyful one.

5/27--I had another test to verify my hCG levels were still going down. Nope...it was 98. At this point I was 5 weeks so my numbers should have been much higher. An ectopic pregnancy was suspected.

5/29--Another test...204! Now it doubled! Deep in my heart I was hoping that my baby was still fighting, but my levels were way too low.

6/1--Our 6 year anniversary...it was pretty quiet. We went to dinner and I allowed myself a glass of wine with my meal.

6/2--Beginning of 6 weeks...still pregnant. We both went to my ultrasound. Since my levels were still rather low we really couldn't see anything, but a black looking cyst near the opening on my left fallopian tube was suspicious of ectopic. Sure enough my hCG levels continued to rise (599). However, the pregnancy was not going to develop. That afternoon I was given a shot of methotrexate to break up any embryonic tissue in my tubes.

Methotrexate is also used for chemotherapy, only I was given a much smaller dose. Nonetheless, I've been very sick.

So that's it. I need to have two more blood tests to verify my hormones are going back down. If not, I will have to have surgery. It's been the worst two weeks of my life...at least now I can finally move on.

We do have 5 embryos waiting for us though. We'll probably try again in August. It all depends when my body goes back to normal.

Awww....

2008-05-08T09:00:00.002-05:00

Here they are!

Well our seven embryos remained strong and yesterday we transferred 2 beautiful embryos (see above). The remaining five embryos should be frozen. All but one was rated B+/A-. But right now we are praying for these two and hoping they find a nice cushy home for the next 9 months.

As for me, I'm still on bed rest, although today I can actually do more than get up and go to the bathroom.

So please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers!

7 is a lucky number, right?

2008-05-06T17:19:00.003-05:00

It is for us because right now we have seven little embryos starting to grow! We won't know until tomorrow the quality of each, but this was great news this morning!!!

I haven't blogged in awhile so some people may be wondering "what happened? Weren't you on track in March?" Well, in March I began to show signs of overstimulating, which can be extremely dangerous. So my cycle was canceled. It was hard, but I was so sick.

Even this time it looked like I was going to overstimulate, but my follicles were growing much larger than last time. So they backed off on my medication, hoping my estrodiol levels would level out while the follicles continued to grow, but my levels dropped instead. They were about to cancel, but decided to give me another push of meds and see what happened. So not expecting more than 3 or 4 eggs, we proceeded. I was devastated, but prayed like crazy!

The day of retrieval, I had to take a vallium and it knocked me out. I really don't remember much. The first thing I asked when I woke up, was how many eggs? I thought Andy was joking when he said 13! I slept all yesterday, luckily or I would have been a nervous wreck.

This morning the nurse called with our fertility results and told us that seven eggs fertilized out of the 13 eggs. So of course, now we don't know the quality of the embryos yet...we'll find out tomorrow.

But it's been a week of ups and downs for us and it feels like the the journey on the long, winding road toward parenthood is finally coming to an end.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

We're on track!

2008-03-10T21:10:00.004-05:00

Today I went in for my baseline ultrasound and everything is going very well! I will be starting my stimulation medications this weekend and I have a follicle check next Monday.

So what did you do this weekend? On Saturday we got dressed up and went to an open casting call for Public Enemies, the Michael Mann film about John Dillinger, which is going to be partially filmed in Oshkosh....only less than a mile from our house!!! Oh yeah...did I mention Johnny Depp and Christian Bale are starring in it? No? Um yeah, they are...

So we needed headshots...here's mine:
We had to dress up in "period" clothing so the casting people could picture how people would look in a 1930s piece. I really have no idea if I'll get called, but it was a fun experience...standing in line for 2 and a half hours then getting our pictures taken again! I'm a people watcher though so I loved seeing everyone dressed up! I think I look too "40s," but who knows?

On the brink of a dream...

2008-03-09T22:39:00.003-05:00

I remember long ago, holding, feeding and loving my dolls, mimicking my mom as she cared for my brother and I. At that time I dreamed of what it would be like when I had children. What I never expected is that my dream would seem so out of reach.

In a week or so, we will be doing IVF. We are so excited, but so scared to get our hopes up at the same time. I've started the drug regimen that will prepare my body for the procedure. No, this isn't how I would prefer to conceive our children, but this is what we have to do.

It seems like the struggles of the last five years are coming to an end and that our grief may soon turn into joy. I've learned so much about myself and believe that I will be a better mother because of it.

So, if you think of it, say a little prayer or keep us in your thoughts over the next couple weeks. I really appreciate it!

2008-01-29T21:42:00.001-06:00

Hi...is anyone out there?

I can't believe it's been close to six months since I've updated this thing...well I have to change that. So much has happened...so much about to happen. I promise to update soon but until then I'm going to leave you with this...

Can I tell you how excited I am for this CD to come out?

Chao for now!

Back again...

2007-06-22T21:59:00.000-05:00

My first week of Weight Watchers came and went with a two pound drop. Not bad, but I really was expecting more. However the bachelorette party probably didn't help much...I'm still on track though and hoping for another loss this Tuesday.

It's really difficult because my hormones have been so out of control. First my face is broken out. I've never really had an acne problem before, but this is just out of control. I really don't know how to deal with it. Then I'm exhausted. Twice this week I came home at 5, fell asleep and woke up around 8. Then there's my stomach...just really unsettled. I've also had some cramps...nothing major. Oh and did I mention that I think I've gone crazy? Seriously, I'm on a roller coaster. So I'm assuming "Aunt Flo" is coming, but who knows...it's not like it's ever predictable.

I had my book club over this week to discuss "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan" by Lisa See. I highly recommend this one. It's all about women and friendships and how the simplest things can be misunderstood. The book is set in China during the 19th century, when a woman's worth was determined by the size of her feet. The smaller they were showed her future in-laws her obedience to her mother and family. Really a beautiful story.

Anyway, keeping with the theme I prepared a somewhat Chinese meal of lettuce wraps. I also prepared a crab Rangoon dip. I'll have to share these recipes next time...they are really easy and very tasty! (However, not very Point conscious.)

Well that's all for now. Have a great weekend!

New wheels...

2007-06-16T11:42:00.001-05:00

Here it is...isn't she pretty?

Unfortunately it looks like its about to rain...so no joy riding today...

Weight Watchers is going well. However, it is an adjustment getting back into writing everything I eat down. I've been saving my 35 weekly points for tonight, as I'm going to a friend's bachelorette party. We're going to one of my favorite restaurants...CasaBlanca, where they serve food from Mexico, Guatemala, Brazil, Argentina and many more Latin countries. Of course there will also be wine...it should be a good evening.

Well...that's all for now. Have a good weekend!

A Weight Watcher again...

2007-06-12T22:01:00.000-05:00

Well today I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting in a long time. It was a must as I am at my top weight ever! :( When I first joined about three years ago I did awesome...I lost about 27 pounds and felt great. However, when I started I wasn't working and it was easy to get to meetings. Then I started working full time again and I failed to make it to meetings...then I started fertility meds and procedures...depression set in and two years later...it's all back. Fortunately, the company I'm working for now has a leader come to our business and give meetings during lunch. (I know...I giggled at that one too!) Not only that, but the company pays some of the fees and it is payroll deducted. Really I have no excuse now.

I'm doing the Flex Plan...the one where you count points. It just works for me because I eat on the go so much. I just have to take care to write everything down. I bought the Starter Kit with the three month journal. Tonight I took all my measurements and I'm going to have Andy take my photo...hopefully after I lose the weight I need...I'll be able to share it! I can't wait until that day though...I need to look hot when driving around in my new convertible...

:D

Yes, that's right...my new (well to me) 2000 Saab convertible! It was my fifth year anniversary gift. It's a gorgeous black and I still can't believe it's mine! A month ago I never would have thought I'd own one...I didn't think I'd even like one, but Andy got one as a rental and it didn't take him long to convince me. Two days later...we owned one...That's just how we work. This isn't our first spur vehicle purchase.

For digi news...Have you seen the new TAD (Tracy Ann designs) girls blog? No? What are you waiting for...tons of inspiration and challenges... You know you love Tracy Ann's stuff...now get inspired and use it! TADgirls Blog

Well...this was just a quick little post to let you know I'm still alive. I promise to be back soon with car photos and new CT links to some fab new product! Ok...at the very least...I'll be back next Tuesday with a Weight Watcher update. Who knows maybe a photo...but don't plan on it...

Missed me?...

2007-03-20T20:26:00.000-05:00

I wish my blog could update itself.

I know you've been there too. You mean to write something, but time forges forth. Soon so many things have happened and you realize that it will take way too long to catch up.

Yeah...that's where I am.

I got a job! I had accepted a job as a customer service assistant at the company where my husband works as an engineer. I actually started a month ago yesterday and four days into the job I found out I was getting a promotion and raise...not bad, eh? So tomorrow is the first day I officially work as a customer service rep. I love actually working with other people that talk back and don't bark.

Despite my absence online due to my presence IRL, I have been scrapping. The amazing Vera Lim at Scrapbook Bytes and the equally amazing new designer Cindy Irvine at Elemental Scraps asked me to be a guest on their design teams this month. I'll come back and post some of my favorite layouts later, but you can see them by clicking my DST gallery to the right.

Oh ok...this is my latest of my darling niece. Yeah, I've scrapped this photo before, but those eyes...they deserve another layout.

Credits: a variety of items from Cindy Irvine (Elemental Scraps): paper (burned and sponged), ribbon and tag from Dear Little Girl; staples from Somewhat Daisical; flower brushes from Sketchy Flower brushes ("painted" in to fit layout). Word art my own design. Sharp Color Pop action from PhotoBlast. Vintage frame by Andrea Burns.

I just fell in love with those flower brushes. I loved playing with the airbrush in Photoshop to paint them in.

I really forgot I had a blog until Molly pointed it out in a recent entry on her blog. Oops. Anyway she did this blogmeme on her blog and tagged me.

Creative Musings on Books...

Hardback or trade paperback or mass market paperback? Anything really...I don't discriminate.

Amazon or brick and mortar? I do buy a lot of my books on Amazon...I'm thrifty. But there's nothing better than spending an afternoon in a brick and mortar.

Barnes & Noble or Borders? Barnes and Noble, but it's more from lack of good bookstores in my area than anything. I love variety and having almost every available title at my disposal.

Bookmark or dog ear? I dog ear. You can lose a dog ear.

Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random? Ummmm...do people really alphabetize anything?

Keep, throw away, or sell? I keep most of them. The rest I pack up and give to Goodwill or the local thrift shop. I buy a lot of books from Goodwill too.

Keep dust jacket or toss it? I went through a tossing stage, but the most recent ones still have them on.

Read with dust jacket or remove it? I use the flap as a dog ear alternative.

Short story or novel? Novels.

Collection (short stories by same author) or anthology (short stories by different authors)? Collections.

Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket? I guess Harry Potter because at least I read HP books.

Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks? I stop reading when my eyes do.

"It was a dark and stormy night" or "Once upon a time"? Both

Buy or Borrow? Both...I think I may actually be the only human to have her library card number AND credit card memorized.

New or used? Both.

Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse? All of the above. I tend to read books in themes...I've been on a historical/biblical fiction kick for awhile.

Tidy ending or cliffhanger? I hate cliffhangers.

Morning reading, afternoon reading or nighttime reading? I can't sleep unless I get my reading time before falling asleep.

Stand-alone or series? I mostly read stand-alone books now, but used to read tons of series as a child.

Favorite series? My childhood favorite...Little House on the Prairie.

Favorite children's book? I'm out of touch on this one, but my favorite when I was real little was The Panda Bear's Paintbox.

Favorite book of which nobody else has heard? The Kitchen Boy by Robert Alexander...at least many people I know never heard of it.

Favorite books read last year? Son of a Witch by Gregory McGuire.

Favorite books of all time? Seriously? Molly gave a great review of hers, but I'm just going to list some. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, Wicked by Gregory McGuire, The Kitchen Boy by Robert Alexander, The Red Tent by Anita Diament

Least favorite book you finished last year? If I don't like a book I don't finish it. I used to like Nicholas Sparks, and attempted his last one, but I barely made it through the first chapter.

What are you reading right now? Besides my collection of photography/Photoshop books, I'm about to start The Boleyn Inheritance.

What are you reading next? Whatever my book club decides on next.

Now what about you? If you do this, send me a link in the comments so I can read about you.

Well, that's enough for this evening...We are celebrating the dogs birthdays this week (Dakota's 5 today and Kelvin is 6 on Friday). So hopefully I'll have some photos of them in birthday hats, eating their gravy-covered food and playing with their new toys.

The world can now feel safer...

2007-02-16T18:54:00.000-06:00

You have to love Photoshop!

Still lovin' it...

2007-02-07T19:47:00.000-06:00

The Wii...seriously, I recommend it. Soooo fun!

I downloaded Super Mario Bros. I'm really a geek...I still remember all, ok most, secret 1-ups, stars, coins, etc. The first time I played it...I really impressed DH. "How do you remember all that stuff?" Who knows...useless trivia...I'm a sponge.

I have done other things besides playing Wii. Last weekend, I went to this incredibly fun shoppe, called Oh What a Dish. Its one of those places you go, pick out a piece of pottery and paint it. Then they glaze it and its ready to pick up in a couple days. I painted a Tea for One set, as DH broke mine. The last couple days have been agony because I wanted to see the finished product so bad. But today was the day and here's my piece of art...functional art...

If you open it... there is another branch with white flowers in the cup. I'm pretty proud of it and of course the photo doesn't do it justice. I painted a planter today for DH's grandma's birthday. I'm really addicted to this now.

I've also done some scrapping. Here are a couple new ones...

An Interview with Man's Best Friend

If I Found Out I was Pregnant Today

I Adore You

Click on the names below to see credits for the layouts. The middle one was based on a question I read in a myspace questionnaire.

And on the fertility note, I have good news, well I think good news. I believe I actually ovulated on my own for the past three months! It's a small development, but a good one as that was a huge problem. So who knows? I may be posting a similar layout soon? Maybe...;)

Guess what I was doing at midnight last night?...

2007-01-28T14:17:00.000-06:00

NO! Not that! (where are your minds this fine Sunday)

At around 10:30 last night, Andy came running downstairs.

"Get dressed...we're going."

I had a suspicion this was coming..."I have to go with you."

"Yeah," he replied. "I don't want to stand there alone."

Eyeroll from me (although I was secretly excited). "Fine. But we better get one," I warn.

So in the middle of the night we trek to Wally World to stand in line for an hour to get a Nintendo Wii. They don't let you wait in the electronics department, so instead we got in line in the lawn and garden department (you know, outside the sliding doors?) I'm not one for waiting for anything so I wandered through the books and magazines, arts and crafts, the camera department only to get back and realize I wasted....a mere 15 minutes....45 minutes to go.

Some people came prepared with chairs and Icees. While I was gone, Andy found out he was 14 in line for 15 Wiis. "So we're definately getting one?"

"I guess."

I decide I'm thirsty 10 minutes later and go back into the store, hoping for a couple of Icees. No Icees. I get Dr. Peppers instead...20 minutes to go.

Everyone was just hanging out, talking amounst themselves. At about 5 min before midnight, the manager comes and we walk single file to the electronics department. Andy was in fight mode, just waiting to jump someone cutting in line.

"No cuts!"

"What are you? In third grade?" I ask. "I'm not bailing you out of jail this morning."

We wait in line again. When they brought out the systems, Andy exclaimed (to me) "They're bringing out the magical cart."

"Thanks for waiting until I finished drinking for that."

"No problem," he replied, with that impish look in his eye.

Anyway, at 12:01 a.m. the first Wii was purchased and on down the line. There were plenty and only one person went away without one.

12:38 a.m. "So are you going to bed when we get home," I ask.

"Come on be serious." Sooor-ry.

There was much excitement when we got home. Kelvin and Dakota had no idea, but since shopping bags were involved they were excited too. In fact, as Andy and I are pawing through the box, Kelvin started going through the other bag with an extra game and controllers and pulled out the nunchuck and ran around with it.

We played bowling first. (I got the first strike, BTW.) This thing is AWESOME!!! I never thought I would be excited about video games, but you actually get to move and jump and it's so much fun! Definately worth standing around in Wally World for an hour. The best part...we can connect it to the Internet and get classic Nintendo games like Super Mario Bros.

Well in spite of all the excitement, I did manage to get my first layout done for Toni Berman. I'm in love with her Rebel Rock kit, as well as the Date tickets. Here's Original Rock Star, featuring my nephew:

Credits: Rebel Rock and Date Tickets by Toni Berman (My Digital Muse)

Ok, and I promised to tell you about my new workout. Before I tell you what it is, I just want to let you know that my husband (mid-Wii game, of course) commented that he thought I lost weight and said my butt looked tighter. If that isn't progress I don't know what is?

Yes, as seen for TV, but it really works and its really fun. It says there are 5 complete workouts, but there are really 4, as the first one mostly just teaches you the right positions. There is a guided meditation though that's ok on it. However, if you've done yoga and/or ballet in the past you can skip it and go on to the basic workout.

I bought it from Double Day Book Club, but Target has it on sale on line. If you buy it through Amazon, you don't have to spend the extra $5 in shipping for the "free" squishy ball. I'm not sure if Target has it in stores...it's not at any around here anyway. I'm waiting for my squishy ball which according to UPS is still in California. I've just been using one of the dogs larger stuft toys, which they really aren't happy with.

Wow! Two blog posts in a weekend! Ciao!

CT News, a tag and some other things...

2007-01-26T22:10:00.000-06:00

{Project 26}

So did you rush to see Tracy Ann's new collection this morning? Project 26 was released today in honor of Australia Day. And it is awesome! You have to download her free catalogue/newsletter (click on her name above) and see all the work she's done. It is filled with inspiring layouts from her creative team...just pure eye candy!

Here are a couple of layouts I did that appear in the catalogue:

Credits: Bondi from Project 26 by Tracy Ann Robinson; pin from Bedazzled by Tracy Ann

Credits: Fremantle from Project 26 by Tracy Ann Robinson; Photo Bend template by Debbie Knorr

Credits: Her Majesty from Project 26 by Tracy Ann Robinson

{New CT News}

I was pleasantly surprised by a PM from Dielle at DST asking me if I'd be interested in a guest CT spot for Toni Berman designs. Coincidently, Toni's MIL was my second grade teacher...how is that for a small world?

You have to see these awesome new date tickets:

Can't you just picture these on your layouts? I feel bad that I haven't done a layout yet, even though it's all sketched out...so expect it this weekend.

{Angedawn}

Ange has created these fabulous shadows for your ribbon embellishments...

Don't they look more realistic than the drow shadows in Photoshop?

{Teresa Ferguson}

If you already didn't know, Teresa's layouts are some of the best out there! That's why her templates are so awesome!!! I love using them. In the last week she released her second set of 4x6 templates:

{SBB E-Team}

The fabulous designers on the Scrapbook Bytes E-team created Frosted Friends for January. One of my layouts Chilly Willy is posted below, but here is another one I did...

Look at my little (eh...big) Snow Princess! To make it look like she was stepping out of the frame I layered the frame over her photo then lowered the opacity of the frame. Then I just erased the frame where Dakota showed through. After I finished I upped the opacity back to 100%. That's it!

{A Tag}

Gina tagged me the other day (thanks girl!) So without further ado...

5 Cool Things About Me

I'm obsessed with Broadway musicals, especially Wicked. (Is that cool?) My dream would be to play Elphaba in Wicked. I saw the show twice in Chicago within 6 months...the second time with Ana Gastyer (sp) as Elphaba.
I love learning new computer software. I'm self-taught in Photoshop and am now working my way down the rest of the Adobe Creative Suite.
hmmm...this is hard... I competed in Miss Wisconsin in 1999 (in spirit that Miss America is on Monday night). My talent was singing and I sang "Home" from the Broadway musical Beauty and the Beast. My title was Miss Northeast Wisconsin (however, I was a resident of Michigan)
My husband is half Brazillian. His mom came here with her family when she was 12. We spent New Years there in 2004! So yes, that means I have a latin lover...;)
I used to be deathly afraid of dogs. In fact, it was a black lab who jumped out at me as a baby that instigated this fear. My next notable encounter with a dog was when a cocker spaniel wandered into our yard and proceeded to chase me off our porch. Ironically, I now have a black lab and a cocker spaniel.

Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes last weekend! You ladies really made my day.

Well I had meant to talk about so much more (boy am I chatty this evening) but I'll give you girls a break! More this weekend, including my new workout program, which I actually love. Yes, I said love and workout in the same sentence.

Ciao babes!

Happy Birthday...

2007-01-21T09:39:00.000-06:00

to my blog! My blog turns one today and coincidently I turn 29. Yes, I started this blog on my 28th birthday last year.

Last night we went to dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant with 20 of our friends then out for martinis after...I'll post pics later. Today we head down to my in-laws for dinner and cake and to see my BIL's girlfriend who has been out of the country for over six months.

With my new camera in hand, I begin the last year of my 20s and celebrate my last birthday. From now on I will celebrate the anniversary of my 29th birthday...right Mom? :D

And to those who read this blog...I thank you for your comments and support...here's to 29!

I'm in a rut...

2007-01-17T01:39:00.000-06:00

Ugh!

I don't know if it's my birthday coming up (Sunday) or the fact that after 6 months out of work and I can't get an interview or my stupid knee...but I feel like shit. Of course, since I'm coming out of a depression my first thought was to banish it away, but hey at least I'm feeling something...even if it is like shit.

Creatively I'm in the biggest rut that I can remember. Nothing is coming to me. In all honestly I really think I'm the most creative when depressed. Ironic, isn't it? For someone who defines herself as a creative person, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel like a clumsy child trying to cut a straight line for the first time.

Then I turn 29 on Sunday. Yes, I know that's not old. I've never been one to care about aging. It's just that my 20s are almost over and I still don't know what I want to do with my life...well I do, but it just isn't possible right now. There are no jobs out there for someone with my degree or talents. (not that it matters because my creativity's gone anyway). I would love to be a SAHM or a WAHM, but unless we're counting dogs...the person count for 18 and under in the ives household is 0.

Limbo..that's where I am...at a time where I should know or at least have an idea where I'm headed. At least I always thought I would have it figured out by now.

God my 20s are almost over...most of it was in a depressed haze. wow. Of course, I can't look back it's done. There were plenty of great moments to remember too.

I think I do this before my birthday every year..for the past couple anyway. Maybe it has something to do with the fact it's 2 a.m.

If you're still reading this...thanks for listening...I think I'll try going back to bed now...night.

Life, dogs and learning to run...

2007-01-10T16:37:00.000-06:00

I'm still working on my running...however, I have hit a snag...my left knee. After my Thursday run last week, it started to click as I walked up the stairs. (Pretty picture isn't it? Makes me cringe thinking about it) I also noticed on my run that my left foot was turning inward. *Wonderful* I have a feeling that's the problem with my knee. My friends told me that the right shoes should help me. But yesterday I started using Andy's knee brace, but it was actually more work using it as I felt "uneven." Anyway...I think I need new shoes...I hope that's it though...I'm already registered for the 10K.

So I'm really excited about getting in shape again. Running is great, but I tend to get bored...so I ordered Ballet Booty Yoga workout. This is the first time I actually ordered something after seeing an infomercial (but I didn't buy it directly from them). I used to love dancing! My favorite workout was a ballet workout video and I took jazz for years and loved it! I think this will help with the motivation problem. But as I said, I didn't order it from their company...I ordered it off Double Day Book Club where shipping was $2 compared to $13. I'll keep you posted...

Kelvin and Dakota have been driving me up the wall today... Dakota's latest goal of life is to try to convince me that dinner time moves back an hour each day. When I was working I'd feed them when I got home, but now I'm home dinner time has been at 5p.m. For the past month or so, at 4 p.m. like clockwork she jumps on me, cries and just annoys me until I give in (which I do). However, it's getting earlier and earlier, but always on the whole hour. Smart chicky... Of course I'm not going to be pushed around by my dog...so I fed them at 4:30...so there!

The job outlook hasn't been good. Companies must not do much hiring at the first of the year, as the listing have even dwindled. I am doing some freelance work though. It would really be nice if I could find a writing job with a publication, though.

Thanks to everyone who commented and encouraged my running! I really need it now that it seem that typical Wisconsin winters seem to be upon us.

I leave you with three new layouts...

Credits: papers, rubons and ribbon from Wisp by Tracy Ann Robinson (Scrapbook Bytes); alpha brushes by Nancie Rowe Janitz and date stamp by Amber Clegg(Scrap ARtist)

Credits: Everything (except brushes) are from Frosted Friends by Scrapbook Bytes E-team (Scrapbook Bytes); paint brushes by Michelle Coleman (Scrap Artist)

Credits: Everything by Teresa Ferguson: Paper, rubons and word art from "Enjoy the Ride" and template from Smarties 2, everything available at Sweet Shoppe Designs.

Ta ta for now...

I did it!...

2007-01-04T06:48:00.000-06:00

I ran a mile!

A whole mile without walking. I'm pretty proud of myself. I just kept going. I'm not sure I'm enjoying it yet, but baby steps here ok? I'm all signed up for the 10k so there's no turning back. Right now I'm alternating running with yoga. I did one of my favorite yoga videos last night for an hour...wow! I need work. I used to do yoga regularly, but got away from it. My body felt so tight in some of those poses! I have to ease back into it. I'm feeling it this morning...

We've had the most beautiful weather here for the last couple days. Today it will be almost 50 degrees.

Otherwise...not much going on...for some reason my body decided to wake at the abnormally early hour of 5 a.m. So I think a nap will be in order later today. The dogs are still sleeping! I really think it's our mattress. Hopefully flipping it will help...we really don't need to buy a new one.

Have a great Thursday! Remember all new episodes of The Office, Earl and Grey's!!!

Happy New Year...

2007-01-02T09:50:00.000-06:00

I hate new year resolutions, but I make them anyway. Of course, like most people, mine is to get healthy and get in shape. However there are two things this year that I think will make me motivated...

I want to lose 20 pounds before we start IVF
Andy and I are going to start training for a 10K that takes place in July.

Yes, you read that right...me...running...10K.

I'm hoping with a goal (and a training partner) I will keep with it. I have several other friends running also so it will be a whole weekend event up in the U.P. of Michigan.

So keep coming back...and watch the process. My first day of training (Saturday) we ran a mile...a half mile straight with no stopping...then the other half walking and running. I've never ran in the winter before so I didn't expect the pain in my chest from the cold air...that really held me back. Today I'll be doing the same thing (by myself this time), but I'll wrap a scarf around my neck...but it's warmer today also so I may not need it.

2006 will not go down in the "greatest" year category, mostly because it flew by and I really think I "slept" through most of it. But now it's 2007 and I'm feeling better...I'm on a new antidepressant (Cymbalta) and its really working for me. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I "should" feel...not like a ghost of myself. And it's good...it's good.

My ghost status was really apparent while I did this layout. The year seemed to flow by, yet when I look back on these photos...it seems like so long ago, like in a different lifetime.

Credits: paper, rubon, ribbon, tags from Wintersong by the ScrapArtist artists; pin by Tracy Ann Robinson; paper fold action by Jen Caputo (Digi Shoppe); date stamps by Amber Clegg (ScrapArtist)

Here's to a better, healthier, safer and successful 2007!

Merry Digi-Christmas...

2006-12-28T04:11:00.000-06:00

Well...I must have been one good girl this year because Santa really came through...no I don't have a baby or anything...maybe next year...but my Christmas was a digi scrappers dream.

Here's what Santa brought me...(Santa as in my family)

First from my BIL...

I LOVE this book...I have the first one, but this one is even better because you can add your own sketches and ideas at the end. So many of the ideas transfer so well to digi...need a little inspiration...this is the book you need!

Then from my brother...

Isn't this the cutest? Amazingly this bag fits so much stuff! (However, if you have a widescreen laptop it probably won't fit...hopefully they'll make another one that will)

Then...from my loving, wonderful parents...

Seriously people...does it get better than this? You know it doesn't...

Finally, my wonderful husband, who sometimes I wonder why he puts up with me so...

For Christmas---RAM (which brings me to 1 GB) [Sorry no pic...RAM's really not that exciting to look at]

Then for my upcoming birthday...

My previous camera has been on the fritz for over a month now and unfortunatly hit rock bottom over the holidays and I missed out on many photo ops. I originally wanted a dSLR, but there is no way we could swing it now, but I wanted something more advanced than my previous model, which had 3.2 mp and 3x optical zoom. The reviews for this camera were outstanding, plus I can shoot quality video on it. The zoom is spectacular and I can purchase additional lenses and a external flash later.

So my birthday isn't for another three weeks, but since my problems with my other camera...my birthday came a little early this year...who am I to complain?

Of course, this isn't all for digi scrapping...one thing I've learned since looking for a job is that most journalism/writing jobs require graphic design experience also. I'm hoping to start taking classes toward a visual journalism emphasis this fall to add to my current degree. However until then...I can learn as much as I can on my own. I've also been exploring digital art and would like to put some items together and enter the local gallery walk.

I hope everyone reading this had the happiest of holidays...here's to the new year....

Some people are just idiots, Part Deux...

2006-12-21T22:19:00.000-06:00

Unfortunately, I think this is going to be the name of my book of all the insensitive things people say or do to someone that is dealing with infertility.

Ok first I must write a disclaimer...*I am not a fan of holiday newsletters...not at all* Now if you send out a holiday newsletter, please know I will not hold it against you...just don't send it to me.

Ok...After my last entry I went to the doctor for a check up then to the store to get my baking supplies. When I got home, I checked the mail, excited to find more Christmas cards. (I love getting Christmas cards and photos!--See I'm not a total Scrooge). One was from my very good friend, or someone I thought was my good friend. We've kinda lost touch over the year because of another insensitive comment. In this letter, a form letter, she announced her pregnancy (well to me anyway...she's been pregnant since summer). My heart was just broken...If you've ever dealt with infertility, you know how hard it is to hear about other's good fortunes...especially their second or in this case...third...good fortunes. It's really hard to explain...we don't get mad at the couple...it's really just a reminder of what we want so bad, but cannot have.

This case though...I was mad. I'm sorry I can't help it. It was just a tad insensitive (a lot of sarcasm here) Yes, I probably would've been upset no matter what, but I really think a little personal note asking about how I'm doing and breaking it gently would've soothed the shock.

Whatever...I should have moved on a long time ago. It's just the last in a long line of insensitive remarks and actions. We really were great friends at one time. The things I know....not things that a Christian mother of three does....that's all I'm going to say...

Anyway...now that that is off my chest...I actually did it...I joined myspace. I've said forever that I wouldn't...however my friend Patty convinced me. If you're interested my site is www.myspace.com/mives121

And I realize I haven't posted a layout here in ages! Believe me I've been busy...I love the creative teams I'm on! I have been so fortunate to play with these awesome designs...here are a couple of my latest...

I used Holiday Peace from the Scrapbook Bytes E-Team (December 06 kit) for this one of Dakota eating my candy cane.

I used Tracy Ann's Midnight kit for this one...I love her new glitter!

This kit is from a new collection by Tracy Ann...this one is Flip...don't ask what I was doing...I'm really not sure.

I LOVE how this one turned out...I used Ange Barton's (Angedawn) 21...the grunge was perfect for the city scape, I also used one of Tracy Ann's Photo Mats on the photo.

This cute layout is done thanks to a template from Teresa Ferguson's Smarties 3 collection. Teresa has such a fresh style...I love using her templates! The kit here is Sweet Blue from Tracy Ann.

Well that's all for now...I can't wait to share what I'm getting for Christmas...I'm so excited! Of course, like always there will be a lot of travel, but it will be really nice to see all the family in one weekend. Besides...I can just sleep in the car. ;)

Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and hopefully I'll post again before the new year.

Travel safe!

If you wait until a few days before Christmas

2006-12-20T10:11:00.000-06:00

to order your gifts and have them sent by US mail...don't bitch at me that you have to pay an additional $11.95 to get it there on time!

*whew* Had to get that off my chest. But yesterday was my last day doing customer service! Yea! Most people were really nice, but I had my intelligence questioned one too many times to actually enjoy the job. I can't help it...I'm a nice person and tend to take things personally....it's just what I do.

Can you believe that Christmas is less than a week away?! I'm excited. Ok...this may sound horrible...but I LOVE presents! I love getting them I love giving them! I just love everything about them! Please don't think anything less of me. :D I'm especially excited this year because I *think* I'm going to have the digi-scrapper's dream of a holiday.

Today I'm going to do my baking...I'm making traditional sugar cut-outs and spritz. I'm also going to make Super Easy Fudge, which really is super easy...thanks to the Betty Crocker cookbook. Then I have to do laundry :( (My worst chore)

Well...I'm going to leave you for now...here's a photo of our Christmas tree, which is the most beauiful Christmas tree I've ever seen!

Wha? Ya mean this blog doesn't update itself?

2006-12-11T17:36:00.000-06:00

I'm alive! Really I am...I've been a great scrapper (if you've checked my gallery), but just a bad blogger...wanna know why? Really it's a poor excuse. I wanted to redress my blog for Christmas, but have really been too lazy to do so. Told ya...

I've also been a rollercoaster of emotions lately. I really don't know whether to laugh or cry, so I've done a lot of both. This time of year is always emotional for me and has been for the past four years. Every Christmas I always say this will be the last as a childless couple, however, Christmas seems to find its way back and we're still in the same place.

I still don't have a job, but I've been doing customer service for a cheese and sausage company until the 19th...which has it's ups and downs. Mostly it had been good, but someone yesterday said something to me that struck me to the very core of my confidence. I can't even write it here as it's still too fresh. It's amazing how much words really hurt.

I wrote a letter to Santa this year...my first in a while. Actually it was a scrapbook page.

Credits here

Ok...I really don't mean for this to be a depressing post...my first post in such a long while. Actually I have been doing quite well. I feel like my depression is lifting. And that is the most wonderful news. That black blanket is slowly being pulled from my eyes and I'm starting to see color again. And this is what I wanted before we decided what our next step was in creating our family. Now we will be saving money for IVF. Anyone have an extra $20,000 lying around? Unfortunately that means my scrapping budget will have to be greatly decreased (more than usual)...thank goodness for the designers who've asked me to be on their CTs! But don't worry...once we receive that gift we long so much for, I and my Paypal account will be back! :D

And to finish...I've been tagged so if you've made it this far, Shannon is the reason I'm back!

I'm tagging Steph, Julie, Jen, Ange and Teresa

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate with tons and tons of marshmallows, plus an extra couple on the side.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Santa of course, who else would do it?

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? All white...I just love it!

4. Do you hang mistletoe? I don't need it...lol!

5. When do you put your decorations up? The closest weekend to Dec. 1.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Mashed potatoes and gravy!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child. Santa would always stop at my Grandma's house before he started out on his long journey. He always would bring my cousin's an I one gift each, then we would remind him what we wanted him to bring to our house later that night. To keep us busy until he came, my Grandma would hide sticks of spearmint gum and we'd play "hot and cold." Once my little brother who was scared of Santa (well he's 27 now) was looking for his gum by the front door when Santa rang his jingle bells and shouted out a "HO, HO, HO!" The look on his face!!! (only a big sister could appreciate that story!)

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? uh....what do you mean?

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes...and I'm always the one who starts this tradition...it's my right and it wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Our tree this year is a pretty balsam with white lights, silver beads, a white and silver star and red and silver bulbs. We also hang our special ornaments like our Hallmark ones that we collect each year.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? If it would snow only from Dec. 22 to Dec. 27...maybe the 28th I would be happy. I like to look at it...from inside with a hot cup of coaco in my hands.

12. Can you ice skate? um...no...I don't do anything in the winter besides what was described in question 11.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? hmmm...this is a hard one...Andy and I usually don't exchange gifts...Oh! I remember the favorite gift I gave! My mom was in love with a particular piece of art that depicted a bride on her wedding day with the ghost of her mother behind her (can't remember the painter). She saw it on vacation and kicked herself later because she didn't buy it. I found a plate with the image on it and purchased it on eBay from a store in Canada, however, a day later was Sept. 11th, 2001. The plate was stuck in Canada, but fortunately it arrived on time. She love it!

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? I love getting together with family. I love that good feeling.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Without a second thought...pumpkin pie!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Getting the dogs in the car and driving around the park with all the lights while listening to Christmas music.

17. What tops your tree? A star.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving, not only because I love seeing peoples faces when they open what I give them, but also because I can shop all I want and not feel guilty for one month. (So is that like giving something to myself and it doesn't count?)

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas sung by Judy Garland (Shannon, I can't change this...I get chills when I hear this!)

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? I've eaten half a box already....Kelvin and Dakota help me though.

Tag you're it! (Copy, paste and share on your blog) Leave me a comment with a link to your blog so I can check out your answers too!

And in case I don't make it back here for another month...have a Merry, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Wonderful New Year!

Mixture of happiness and sadness...

2006-11-09T13:02:00.000-06:00

Well the elections are over...for the most part anyway. For the most part, I'm very pleased with the results on a national level...it looks like our country is in for a change and that is very good. Even my city of Oshkosh, traditionally Republican, elected a Democrat into the state assembly...first time in a long time.

However, the marriage referendum went through and that made me very sad. I really expected it to get shot down. Hopefully next time...

I'm also happy that the smoking ban in bars will continue in Appleton. I'm not a resident so I didn't vote on this issue...but I can't tell you how much I enjoy waking up the next morning after a night out and not gagging over the smell in my hair. My hangovers aren't that bad either. Now....if only Oshkosh would follow suit...

I know not everyone reading this will share my opinions, but isn't that what a blog is for, to express your thoughts and opinions?

Don't forget to vote today...

2006-11-07T08:41:00.000-06:00

Just a friendly reminder to get out and vote today. No matter your political preferences...you need to have your voice heard...regardless what you think...your vote counts.

AND if you live in Wisconsin....Please, PLEASE vote "NO" on the marriage referendum. It is an unnecessary referendum and will take away rights of so many Wisconsin residents. If this referendum goes through, ALL civil unions will lose their rights. With a "NO" vote nothing will change. Please visit Fair Wisconsin Web site.

Voting is so easy to do...I got up and voted at 7:30 this morning...and it took only a couple minutes. So get down to your local polling place!

Happy Halloween!!!!

2006-10-31T17:27:00.000-06:00

Are you witches and goblins ready for candy? That's all I've eaten all day! I'm waiting for trick or treaters to come to our house...in my costume! I hope more come because I'll be eating candy for the next two months!

Andy and I had a blast at the Halloween party we went to on Saturday night...we didn't get home until 3:30 a.m. Now thats a party! LOL!

Here are a couple photos...

This is when we first arrived (notice lack of beer in my glasses). I'm a beer wench (bitch, whatever your preference) and Andy is a gorilla going as "The Moustashe," which is Andy's alterego and what he dressed up as last year.

Here's the group! The best costume is that in the lower righthand corner...Fudgums and the little girl from the Domino's commercials!

I hope everyone has a fun and safe holiday!!!

Lover of words...

2006-10-27T12:22:00.000-05:00

Occasionally, I'll just reminisce about things...usually in the shower. I love to float back and remember things and people that are important to me and how I grew up.

Today I was thinking about my love of reading and writing...words really. Books have always been a big part of my life. I credit this to my mom who always read to my brother and I. Steve and I would get into our pajamas, cuddle up with our blankets and favorite stuffed animals, while mom pulled out a well worn book.

As much she would try to pull out something new, we insisted on our favorites, which she read dutifully time and time again. We were repeatedly drawn to The Monster at the End of this Book, a story about a panda bear who loved his watercolor paintbox and I had a particular fondness for Cinderella.

My mom still has most of these books, especially Cinderella, which was our personal favorite. It's corners are worn and some of the pages may be bent, but that story is still the same.

Mom read that book so much that I had it memorized very early, much to the chargrin of my mom, who tried unsuccessfully to skip pages so I'd go to bed.

It was from this book that I had my first learning "a-ha" moment, as Oprah would call it. Although my mom had taught me to write words like "cat," "hat," and my name, I still hadn't quite put together the meaning of words and their connection that told a story.

My "a-ha" moment reminds me of that scene in "Miracle Worker" where young Helen Keller puts together the sign for water with actual water. In reality it's a complex idea, something I believe we take advantage of as adults.

The first word that I had that connection with was "room." It was on a page towards the end of the Cinderella book...a page that I really hadn't memorized. I don't remember the situation around my realization...I just remember the light...just like those cartoon light bulbs. But that light started an obsession...I wanted more and sought out words and their meanings everywhere I could.

After that I picked up reading pretty quickly. While many of my classmates were still reading board books, I had graduated onto Little House on the Prairie, which I completed in first grade, even though I didn't really understand the meaning of chapters. I just read each chapter as a seperate story.

In seventh grade, after learning my childhood idol Debbie Gibson would be playing Eponine in Les Miserables, I wanted to read the novel by Victor Hugo. I went to the library and found the heavy volumn and brought it to the checkout desk. However, the librarian wouldn't let me check it out. She said it was too advanced for me...it was a book for college students...not for a girl not even in high school. I took it out anyway. I didn't read it all the way through, but I did fall in love with the story especially Eponine's.

In tenth grade, I took out the book again...this time I read it all the way through...along with my required literature for class. I've read it many, many more times since...and now own the original version, the abridged version and a two-volumn version in French, as well as most versions of the Broadway recordings.

Yes, books and words have been a large part of my life. Reading is a powerful thing...so powerful it can unlock the entire world.

It's been for-ev-eh...

2006-10-24T20:27:00.000-05:00

But I'm back.

Didja like my picture? LOL! No that's not my Halloween costume...that's my husband's, without the dress that is. He's actually wearing a pin-striped three-piece suit with the gorilla costume! I'm going as a beer bitch...or bar wench...whatever you feel like calling me. I was looking all over for plastic beer mugs so I could carry several large mugs at once like they do at the Hof Brau Haus in Munich (without the weight of the glass mugs). My plan was to use one for beer, then the others I would fill with gold-colored Jell-O and top with Reddi Whip. So now I'll carry two glass ones both filled with beer...:D I LOVE Halloween!

I have great news!!! The awesome Teresa Ferguson asked me to be to be on her new creative team! I'm so excited to work with her designs...here's one that I've done already with a photo of my completely darling nephew...

Credits: Be True, Be You kit by Teresa Ferguson at Sweet Shoppe Designs

I've been itching to scrap...but I just finished the Miss Marinette Area pageant. My mom is the executive director of the pageant, and I am the producer/director/host/performer for the show. It was a great show...but I'm glad it's done for another year.

I also want to finish knitting my new hat...yes, I knit. The cold weather has refreshed my desire and a pink, cashmere blend yarn sitting in my stash was calling me to make a new winter set. I finished my 50" cable scarf over the weekend (it took me a week, only because I had to order and wait for more yarn). I did finish my hat, but it was too short so I frogged it halfway and made it longer. I also have a sweater started. Knitting is really relaxing and meditative....and it gives my eyes a rest from the computer screen ;). I'll post pictures when I've finished the matching cabled mittens.

Well I have to go find a photo of a donkey's ass...don't ask...it's for my husband...

Freaky Friday...

2006-10-13T12:27:00.000-05:00

This is just ridiculous! I have a week before I have to host the Miss Marinette Area pageant and I can't control this hair! I mean, I know with PCOS I should expect some access hair...but this!?
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I better make a waxing appointment...

Carrots are my new friend...

2006-10-10T19:54:00.000-05:00

First I want to thank everyone who commented on my rant in the previous post. I really appreciate your understanding. I was really touched by everyone's posts and to all the people who are keeping Andy and I in your thoughts.

We haven't completely decided our next path, but we're...I'm...really leaning toward IVF. His only reservations are its effect on me. However, at this point, right at this moment...I'm not ready for IVF.

Which brings me to my title....got the cholesterol results today and its even less pretty than before...my total cholesterol was 252! Before we do anything...I need to get my body ready. Yes, I know I've been saying this for awhile, but that number scares the sh*t out of me. I come from a family with heart problems. I saw my dad suffer from a heart attack in his 40s.

So carrots are my friends...

Some people are just idiots...

2006-10-06T00:38:00.000-05:00

How's that for a title, huh?

It's almost 1 a.m., so indulge me in a little rant...

Ok, today I went to the doc's for a routine choelesterol blood test and a med check...just routine stuff. Met with the doc...blah...blah...new meds...blah.

So the nurse comes in the room to draw my blood. I told her to use my right arm as that one's the best...then I made some sarcastic joke about all the blood being drained from my left arm. She looked at me oddly so I explained that I'd had a lot of blood drawn over the past couple years because of infertility treatments.

She pauses, gives me a sympathetic look and says "Oh, that's too bad...I have five." *Picture eyes bulging out of my head* I mean, WTF? How do you respond to that? Then she continues..."All I have to do is blink and I'm pregnant!" Well goody, f***ing goody for you! She's a f***ing nurse! How f***ing insensitive can you f****ing be? Then she gave me the "just relax" mantra...(Oh really...damn...You mean that's all I had to do?)

I hate people sometimes.

*Rant over*

A new look...

2006-10-01T19:37:00.000-05:00

Ok, I've had this blog for over 9 months now and thought it was time for a change...and since it's October and breast cancer awareness month...I'm going pink! I got this idea from this site Pink for October.

And I've been tagged by Julie. Since I also have two dogs, I'm going to go with her second tag...the five weird things about yourself and/or your pets...for your reading pleasure...

1. I will only eat Heinz ketchup. Don't even come to my table with a bottle of Hunt's...it won't be pretty...seriously.
2. When my cocker spaniel, Kelvin, is tired, he wants me to carry him upstairs to bed. If I don't, he'll eventually walk up the stairs, but do a tap dance on the wood floors by the bed until I lift him up anyway.
3. My lab, Dakota, can hear her daddy's truck turn on our street...I swear. She'll be upstairs and run down to the window...then I clean up quickly before he comes through the door.
4. My high school mascot was a Maroon...yeah...a color.
5. Believe it or not, Kelvin loves to dress up. I've gotten comments about my layouts with him in costume, but he really enjoys it! For example, he has a Hawaiian shirt...when I tried to take it off for bed he growled at me...so he slept in the damn thing! (He's going to be Batman for Halloween, BTW!)

Oh...I have to tag someone else...Steph? You're on!

Creativity Challenge

2006-09-26T23:17:00.000-05:00

I read about Rhonna Farrer's 10 day creativity challenge on her blog and thought, why not? Today's challenge was to create a layout based on a blueprint or sketch she posted...here's my take...

Credits here

Thanks for looking!

A little of this, a little of that...

2006-09-25T14:37:00.000-05:00

If there is one good thing about me looking for a new job (which is going very slowly, BTW.), I am becoming a pretty good cook. In fact, Andy was actually complaining this weekend because he hasn't had a frozen pizza in about two weeks. Well not complaining per se, but he doesn't know what to do with all these extra nutrients he's getting.

Meanwhile, I'm loving cooking. And if you knew me in real life, you'd probably be falling over right now (because, yes, until now, my husband has subsisted almost solely on frozen pizzas and Pizza Rolls...and an occasional Saturday afternoon sandwich). It's like art. I love using spices! I experiment all the time. For instance, I put just a tad of cinnamon in tomato sauces. Have no idea where that came from...it just sounded good and it was. Here's a partial list of some dishes I made over the last week or so...

Beef roast (prepared in crockpot)
Ravioli lasanga (got the idea from watching the Today show, but really just made it up after that)
Chicken tortilla soup (this recipe has been traveling around the digi community--but I made it spicier with jalapino peppers, jalapino juice and Louisiana hot sauce)
Barbeque chicken breasts

Yeah, simple stuff, but I'm cooking and that's all that matters. I've also made four loaves of Gina's pumpkin bread. The first batch I made according to the recipe, but the second I left out the raisins (I'm not really crazy about them). This is the yummiest bread I've ever eaten. And there are two ways I eat it...depending on the time of day. If I eat it for breakfast, I'll heat it up slightly and smear it with plain cream cheese. If I eat it later in the day (dessert), I cut a slice put it in a bowl, heat it up and put a couple small scoops of vanilla ice cream on it. OMG!!! Delish!

I've also completed a couple more layouts. I used Tracy Ann's new Elements set available here at SBB.

See Credits here

Also you have to see this new collection by Tracy Ann...she just released it this morning! Tell me you wouldn't just use these over and over again!

Click here to purchase! (You know you wanna!) Aren't they gorgeous! Wow!

That's it for today...I'm nursing a headache. Blech!

Ugh...

2006-09-20T15:23:00.000-05:00

That's how I feel...just ugh. Just give me a bag of tortilla chips, bowl of chili con queso and a box of chocolates (the good stuff) and I *may* feel better. Yeah...you know it...

P

M

S

Or so I think...who really knows...I think its worse with PCOS. Stretchy pants and blankets for me...and this is bad...I hope Andy doesn't come home from out of town today, just so I don't have to clean.

But yesterday I did run a mile and a half. I took up jogging a couple weeks ago...I actually really like it...I'm not stressing out about it though...I have a two mile route and I jog and walk whenever I need to...but yesterday...I just kept going. Yeah...I hurt like hell, but it really made me feel good. I try to run more than walk each time, but if I don't...who cares...there's always next time. My driving music? P!nk's I'm Not Dead and Try This CDs.

No job yet...But I did just apply for a position of "Pop Culture Reporter." fun, eh? Maybe this will be the one?

Layouts:
Scrapbook Bytes Element Team layouts

Credits: Papers and Elements are from Backyard Days kit by the Scrapbook Bytes E-Team; Inked overlay by Carrie Stephens from SBB E-teams' Change the World kit; fonts are Hootie and FG Adam.

Credits: papers and elements from "Emotion" by Scrapbook Bytes Element Team (SBB), font-Susie's Hand

Angedawn Layouts

This is my brother and I after carving pumpkins...he was two and I was three. He's crying because he dropped his...I'm smiling because he dropped his! *Wink*
Credits: papers, alpha, stamps, ribbon from "Eighteen" by Angela Barton (Sweet Shoppe Designs); staples by Heather Roselli from "Toddler Time" compilation kit with Angela Barton (Sweet Shoppe Designs); tag (recolored) by Gina Miller from Fall Flower kit (exclusive from DigiShopTalk); fonts-Maiandra GT and Zitcream.

Tracy Ann Designs

Credits: papers, paper swirl, flowers, ribbon from Victoria by Tracy Ann Robinson (SBB); layered template (with stamp and stitches) by Janet Phillips (DigiShoppe); string by Gina Miller (from Fall Flower kit); font is CK Renaissance; tag-my own design; distressing on background with brushes from Distressing Kit by Nancie Rowe Janitz (ScrapArtist); drop shadow actions by Traci Murphy (Traci Murphy Designs); filter on photo-Virtual Photographer

That's it for now! Ciao...

And another TOOT!!!

2006-09-12T10:34:00.000-05:00

Looky here!!!! My big secret from yesterday! It's a great opportunity to work with some awesome designers!

Here's one of my assignment pages I did for the call...

Credits: Change the World Page kit by SBB Element Team; fonts: AL Gettysburg, AL Modern Type

Thanks for letting me share!!! :D

Has it really been so long???

2006-09-11T23:18:00.000-05:00

Where have I been in and what have I been doing?

Good question! I have no idea!

I have been doing tons of scrapping, looking for jobs and doing lots of reading. I've been obsessed with the Non-Designer's series. It seems that a lot of the jobs I'm interested in all involve design skills, even for writers. So I'm studying the Adobe Suite, reading books on design and Web design.

Did you click on Angedawn's blinkie? (in the post below or in the sidebar) She used my layout on to promote her newest kit, Seventeen!

Here are some of my latest layouts...

From Angedawn Designs:

Credits: papers and embellishments: Seventeen by Angela Barton (Sweet Shoppe Designs); stitching by Gina Miller (SBB); Distressing ink brushes by Nancie Rowe Janitz (Scrap ARtist); my own handwriting with Wacom.
Layout scraplifted from Summer 2005 layout by Jennifer Johner in BHG Design Secrets

Another one with Seventeen...

Credits: Papers and elements: "Seventeen" by Angela Barton (Sweet Shoppe Designs); font AL Modern Type
I used Color Variations in PSE to achieve the brownish tint on the main photo

Credits: Toddler Time compilation kit by Angela Barton and Heather Roselli (Sweet Shoppe Designs); stitching by Gina Miller (Gina Miller Designs); acrylic paint brushes by Nancie Rowe Janitz (Scrap Artist); layered template by Gina Miller

From Tracy Ann Robinson...

This is a photo of myself, my father and mother taken when I was a baby in 1978.
Credits: Patchwork Charm kit by Tracy Ann Robinson (Scrapbook Bytes); Splotch brushes by Tracy Ann (Scrapbook Bytes); font: AL Gettysburg.

Credits: Simplicity Three by Tracy Ann Robinson (coming soon-Scrapbook Bytes); own handwriting on tag with Wacom

Other layouts...

Credits: Black and Red kit by Christine Schultz (Digitals)

Credits: Peas and Harmony by Rhonna Farrer (2Peas)

As you can see I've been exploring my scanner also...:D

Oh...and I expect to have a secret...take that Steph! :P ;)

Please excuse me....

2006-08-24T21:48:00.000-05:00

I have to toot!

The fabulous Angedawn has asked me to be a part of her CT! So you may notice a new blinkie in the next column!

I'm soooo excited! Thanks Ange for the opportunity!!!

On a roll...

2006-08-20T12:37:00.000-05:00

Well there's not much going on...but I've been on a scrapping roll...Tracy released three new kits this weekend...and they're incredibly beautiful. So here are three new pages I did this weekend...Thanks for looking!

I love this photo of Andy and Dakota looking over Devil's Lake.Credits: Zeek kit from Tracy Ann's Streetwear Collection (SBB); stitches by Gina Miller; font AL Professor

Credits: Minuet papers and bits and My Alphabet from "M" Collection by Tracy Ann Robinson (SBB); font: Susie's Hand

This is one of my favorites...
Credits: Mignon papers and bits and My Alphabet brushes from "M" Collection by Tracy Ann Robinson(SBB); Brushwear frames by Tracy Ann Robinson (SBB); font CK Rennisance

Is it horrible that I'm really loving my own gallery lately? I've just been really proud of my work lately. That's not bad right? Right?

What am I going to do next...

2006-08-16T08:45:00.000-05:00

No I don't have a job yet...

I think I'm going to start tap dancing lessons...really!

I haven't tapped since I was six, but I've been wanting to take lessons again for a looong time. Besides it's a great way to get in shape...I'm pretty excited about it.

What else...I'm recovered from the weekend...sort of... but I do have two new pages to share...I used Streetwear kits again...LOVE these kits!

Credits: Moth from Tracy Ann's Streetwear 2006 collection; template by Gina Miller

Credits: Chill from Tracy Ann's Streetwear 2006 collection; circle brushes by Tracy Ann; paper tears by Steph; font-AL Professor

*Note: you can find a link to Tracy's store by clicking on the Streetwear preview in the previous post.

Well, Dakota's acting very odd right now...she was lying on the couch then she leaped over the arm and the end table, ran around the dining room table, upstairs, then came back downstairs and is lying on the floor panting at my feet. I think the fact we're living in a construction zone has a lot to do about it. (Our street is being torn up) Ok...now she's under my legs...think she's a bit spooked...poor girl.

A little enabling...

2006-08-14T08:38:00.000-05:00

Have you seen Tracy Ann's new collection? It went up for sale over the weekend at Scrapbook Bytes (you can click on the picture to go straight to her store were the complete collection is on sale). I was in a huge slump, but these papers and embellies are extremely inspiring and versitile. Here are a couple of pages I made with them...

Credits: Flit from Tracy Ann's new Streetwear 2006 collection.

And my personal fave...

Credits: Vibe from Tracy Ann's new Streetwear 2006 line; template by Gina Miller

You're tempted aren't you? ;)

Ok...my reunion was this weekend...and well...I didn't make it to the actual reunion. I had a bit too much beer at the mixer the night before and was pretty sick the next day...yeah...very bad.

Stupid things I do...

2006-08-09T11:56:00.000-05:00

{or why we leave bathing the dogs to the professionals...}

Ok...we were out of town at a wedding over the weekend so like every environmentally concerned couple, we turned off the central air...yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, if you've been reading my blog, you know how hot it's been in Wisconsin and while it has cooled down some...it's still pretty hot. Well add two dogs to the mix and you can bet Andy, the dogs and I came home to a pretty smelly house on Sunday.

So on Monday, I Febreezed the couch, the air, the carpet, the pillows...everything. Didn't work...
so I wake up on Tuesday morning, wash the bedding and decide to conquer the smell at its source. Since I love my fur babies so much, I can't get rid of them, so I decided that Tuesday would be bath day! It was a beautiful day so the dogs could run around outside to dry. How fun, right?! uh...wrong...

Well, I bought new treats, covered the bathroom with towels and lured my first victim...Kelvin into the tub. Kelvin's little, doesn't mind water, stood still while I scrubbed his fur and his feet, but I went to adjust the water and in one single bound, he leaped over my shoulder onto the towels. Let me tell you, dogs are slippery when they're soapy and wet, but I grabbed him and got him back in the tub...I was happy I changed into scrubby clothes.

I finished rincing him off and picked up the slippery little noodle and shooed him out the door.

On to Dakota...

Dakota needs some more pursuation to get into the tub, unlike Kelvin, I can't lift her. So that's where the treats came in handy. She got in and I went through the same procedure....only Dakota's a little more stubborn...and wiley. I did a decent job then gave up and let her jump out.

She jumped out and shook herself off...only to layer the entire bathroom (and me!) in a half inch of water. Off she went outside and I was left with a bigger mess than I started with...

Lesson learned...leaving dog bathing to the professionals...it's worth the money.

(and it didn't really help the smell)

So guess what I did this morning...I scrapped! Here are my two latest...

Credits: Simply Sketches (set 2) template by Gina Miller(GMD); papers and stickers-Design It Jostle by Tracy Ann Robinson (SBB); arrow from Mega Arrows by Tracy Ann (SBB); brush frame by Tracy Ann (SBB); stitching by Gina Miller (SBB); alpha brushes by Michelle Coleman (ScrapArtist); font-CK Artisan

Credits: paper, overlay, ribbon and brush-My Gypsy Rose by Michelle Coleman (ScrapArtist), flower-from Claire de Lune kit by Michelle Coleman (ScrapArtist), Vivid Color action on main photo from Photo Blast, font-CK Rennesance

That's all for now...Ciao!

Ok...Steph...here I am...

2006-08-03T21:29:00.000-05:00

I was called out by Stephanie that I hadn't updated my blog...so hence she had nothing new to read...so she DEMANDED that I write something...so I am. Because I'm a good friend and I always listen and do what they say...yeah right! (Luv ya Steph! mwah!)

Anyway...I have the cutest photo to share today...

Yep...that's my baby Kelvin in his Goucho Marx glasses...well actually they're Daddy's. Usually he's really good about dressing up, but this time...not so much. But it was so worth it, wasn't it?

Ahhh...what's new? We're heading to Michigan this weekend for Andy's cousin's wedding. I bought the cutest dress. I'll get photos and post them Sunday or Monday.

Oh...and my reunion's next weekend! I'm nervous...I admit it. I was really quiet in high school....and I'm not really anymore. ;D

No new scrap pages...Hopefully I'll have some beautiful stuff next week. I think that pic above is calling to be scrapped!

Ciao!

It's hot out there...

2006-07-25T17:34:00.000-05:00

Whew! It's in the 90s today...very hot. The dogs and I went outside today so I could soak up the warm rays, however after 45 minutes, we came in...look at my poor babies...

Notice the foot spa in the back? I decided I deserved a little pampering so yesterday I had "spa day" after work with mani/pedis. And today....

Ta Da...

I got my hair cut off...seriously like seven inches. It feels so good! I had to take pictures of it all styled before I wash it and can't get it to do anything cute. I'm kinda dissappointed because I really wanted to donate it to Locks for Love, but since I'm going to look for a job and have a wedding and my class reunion coming up...off it goes. Besides it feels so much better in this hot weather. (Just ignore the dark roots...which I really don't understand why their there because I've been darkening my hair...not lightening it.)

Ok what else...I've been organizing my digital scrapbooking stuff in PSE Organizer. I actually moved everything to my EHD because my 40 Gb hard drive was stuffed. Andy just got a new desktop so I took my EHD there and burned all my kits and photos onto DVDs. So much nicer than CD. So I'm properly backed up and hopefully will be organized soon. Whoo hoo!

That's all for now...later gators!

I think I'll be ok...

2006-07-21T16:24:00.000-05:00

It's been one week since I found out I was not pregnant...and what a week it was. If you aren't on DST, you wouldn't have heard that on Wednesday I lost my job. It was a mutual decision that I'd give my 2 week notice. I was in sales and I had to come to the realization sales was not for me, as it isn't for many people.

As you can imagine...it's been a tough week. I'm trying to regain my confidence, but fortunately I have been looking for jobs so my resume is out there...I do not doubt I will find something new...and hopefully something I'll love or at least like.

My depression has been horrible, but I'm working with my therapist. I think I'll be ok...

Regardless of my personal strifes, I have still been scrapping...which this blog is all about. I am so excited to be on Tracy Ann's CT. Last week, she released an A to Z album. I admit I've never used quick pages and thought I never would want to. I also always associated these type of albums as something a mom would create for her children. While I do not have children, I do have two loving dogs that I take TONS of photos of. And some of these darling photos never end up in my pages.

So I downloaded the album and started Kelvin and Dakota A to Z. I'm far from done, but you can see it in my DST gallery. Click on my title page below to see the album...check back as more pages are added...I'm lovin' this album!

To purchase this album (or find out how you can get it for FREE) visit Tracy's store here.

What else? Hmmm...Oh! I went to a chat at DST last night and won some awesome kits from Vera Lim! Here are previews of the two kits I picked out:

Aren't they gorgeous? I especially love Shabby Blue on the right.

Well that's all for now. I have a lot going on right now...but I will make it...I will be ok.

No...

2006-07-14T13:31:00.000-05:00

Negative...that's the message I heard this morning. I'm devestated.

I do appreciate all your well wishes and prayers. Thank you for all your support.

Should be sleepin...

2006-07-14T02:15:00.000-05:00

But I can't...

So it's 2 a.m. and I'm sitting downstairs on my computer.

In about 6 hours I will go to the clinic for my blood test to find out if in fact I am pregnant. I'm so nervous already...mostly because I know that drop in the stomach when the nurse says "no...not this time." I'm dreading those words...I've heard them way too often over the past three years. I'm praying that this time the words will be different and that in nine months I'll be holding our child (or children) in my arms.

With all this struggle that I and so many of my friends have gone through, I'm absolutely amazed when I hear women getting pregnant so easily. Do you know how many things can go wrong? If you're a parent, please, say a prayer for your children...give them an extra hug today...watch them when they think you're not looking and appreciate everything about them (even when they're driving you crazy) Those are true, honest to God miracles you have there. Be proud...be oh so thankful.

Ok...getting emotional again...have a feeling I'll be doing a lot of that tomorrow regardless of the result.

So........

Here are a couple new layouts for you...my first as a Tracy Ann CTM...

Credits: Bustle kit and black and white dotted paper from Figaro by Tracy Ann (available at Sweet Shoppe Designs), font-FG Otto, sketch by Gina Miller

Credits: Figaro kit by Tracy Ann (Sweet Shoppe Designs), note paper by Gina Miller (from Build Your Own Bulletin Board addon kit), font-FG William

As you can see I'm lovin' being on Tracy's Creative Team.

Well I think I'm going to try to sleep now...remember my request and please keep us in your thoughts.

Thank you.

A little tootin'...

2006-07-11T21:45:00.000-05:00

I got a little surprise in the form of an e-mail this morning from one of my favorite designers...Tracy Ann Robinson. She asked me to be on her creative team!!!! Whoo hoooo!!!!

When I completely converted to digi scrapping from paper it was Tracy's designs that wowed me. At first I though...how can I give up my beloved paper...well it was easy after seeing Tracy's designs. In fact, Tracy's papers were the first I purchased. Thank you Tracy!

I also want to thank my good friend Stephanie for being such a supportive friend to me during my infertility struggles. Thanks sweetie!!!

And on the pregnancy note...only a couple more days until the truth. I'm very anxious! I've also been experiencing some cramping and I don't know how to take it. Nothing too severe or anything...still. I wish I just knew...or maybe I don't want to know.

Ok...I can tell I have to go to bed. I'm needing my relaxation classical music right now.

Later!

Happy 4th...

2006-07-05T18:24:00.000-05:00

one day late....better late than never! (or so my life goes)

I'm feeling really good! I appreciate all the prayers and "baby dust!" I don't know why...I just feel very confident! Each night or whenever I have a quiet moment, I visualize the baby where it would be in my uterus...Now I'm getting close to implantation so I picture my lining accepting the baby and encouraging it to grow into our beautiful child (or children...there were four follicles remember).

It's so hard not to take every feeling in my body as pregnancy symptoms, because really it's only six days past ovulation and my body wouldn't be producing any. What I am feeling (bloating and swollen, painful chest) are from the hormones. My doctor even warned me of that so the only "sign" will be a positive blood test. The waiting is the killer.

How was your Fourth? We had many cookouts and lots of food...I made Gina Miller's fruit pizza (scroll down this link for the recipe). It was a HIT! I used strawberries, blueberries and banana for a festive 4th feel!

*******************************************************

I did do some pages over the long weekend...so for your viewing pleasure (or not, whatever)...

Credits: Little Mai papers by IOD, staple by Kim Christensen, brushes-avh_Winter Grace, filter by Virtual Photographer, font-CK Rennessance

Credits: Boho Chic kit by Michelle Coleman; Florish brushes by Michelle Coleman, font-CK Stylish Black

In God's hands now...

2006-06-30T12:12:00.000-05:00

This morning we got up at 5a.m. for our hopefully last IUI. I stayed relaxed and it was actually an enjoyable morning. First we had to go to a hospital 30 minutes away so Andy could leave his...ahem...well ya know. Then we went to breakfast. At 8 a.m. I had a therapy appointment which was a coincidence. She went over some relaxation and opening techniques. It was great! Then we had to go back to the hospital where I had to pick up Andy's ...ya know. I held it in my hand to keep those little guys (or girls) warm, while we drove to another hospital (it was confusing today because of vacations and such). I had my mp3 players filled with relaxing classical music. The actual procedure took only a couple minutes and Andy held my hand the whole time. Then we sat for 15 minutes while I listened to music and pictured the sperm and eggs joining. Then we came home...Andy went to work and I'm laying on my back.

I'm feeling very good and confident this time. I'm going to continue meditating and visualizing. Keep us in your prayers!

And on a digi note...

Credits: Widget papers and collar by Sara Carling; photo turns: from Build Your Own Bullitin Board by Gina Miller

I just love these photos!

My name is Melissa...

2006-06-29T19:04:00.000-05:00

And I'm an SVU addict!

I'm serious...I watch Law and Order: SVU every day...and if there's a marathon....clear my calendar! Do I have a problem? And it's only this show...not the regular Law and Order or CI. I think I'll have withdrawls if this show ever goes off the air. My DH just shakes his head and changes the channel...but he has a new computer (a desktop, which stays upstairs) so Benson, Stabler and I have the living room all to ourselves.

More tomorrow...I'll be on my back all afternoon after my IUI. Please, please pray for us! I cannot express how much we want a child. Thank you.

My DH's second favorite part of my cycle...

2006-06-28T22:50:00.000-05:00

Giving me my HCG shot 48 hours before IUI. I think he enjoys this a little too much...ouch! His first favorite part? Getting his "numbers" before the actual IUI. *insert eyeroll*

I spoke to my doctors nurse this morning...who, btw, is the sweetest person ever!...and she told me she has a really good feeling this time! I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but Andy and I have a girl name picked out...Maya. (Oh...I just love seeing it!) Well I've been seeing and hearing this everywhere for about a month now. (Spooky...even as I write this...)

I've been exhausted lately though...but I'm letting myself relax. I'm actually loading my mp3 player with tons of my favorite classical music as I write.

I do have a completed scrap page...speaking of my DH...I just love this photo!

Credits: Blue Days papers by Tracy Ann Robinson (Scrapbook Bytes), brushes by Stacy McFadden (available with Tracy Ann's papers at SBB), PhotoBlast filters, based on sketch by Gina Miller.

Friday's the day...

2006-06-26T18:40:00.000-05:00

This afternoon I had my follicle check and good news....we have four very good follicles! Three are on the right side and one on the left side. I knew there would be a lot on my right side, as I can feel them. Tonight and tomorrow I have to give myself the last two injections of Follistim, then Andy will give me a shot of HCG on Wednesday...my IUI is scheduled for Friday morning. Everything is looking great! My lining is nice and thick...ready for a baby. The nurse told us there has been many, many successful cycles in the last few weeks...so we're hoping we're the next! We really appreciate all your prayers and well wishes.

Miss Wisconsin was awesome this weekend. I've been going to the shows pretty much every year since 1997, and this was by far the best production. Our new Miss Wisconsin and Miss "States" all over the country will be a part of a reality show this fall, with the finals sometime in January. This new format for the pageant will be interesting. And to dispell the myths that pageant girls are stupid, our new Miss Wisconsin has an undergraduate degree in biomedical engineering and is planning to attend law school after her year. A couple years ago, our Miss Wisconsin was a medical doctor when she competed at Miss America and is now a pediatrician.

I haven't gotten much scrapping done at all! I was hoping to do some tonight, but I have a headache...think it's exhaustion from the long week.

Killer...

2006-06-23T08:34:00.000-05:00

So yesterday my day started with a disturbing sight...The dogs woke me up early (and believe me I was tired) so I let them out...after rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I glanced out of the kitchen window to see the dogs huddled near the corner of fence with a fluffy stuffed animal. (ok...see where I'm going with this)

Only the "fluffy stuffed animal" was moving and letting out tiny squeals. I pounded on the window screaming "NOOOOOO Kelvin, NOOO!" Dakota, the lab, just watched as Kelvin "played" with the terrified bunny. I ran out screaming (note this was 6:30 a.m.) Poor bunny stopped moving and Kelvin hid behind a tree. Dakota nudged it with her nose wondering why it wouldn't play anymore.

By that time, Andy came out of the house and made me go inside. I ran up to our room and shut the door and cried into my pillow...my baby is a killer. About 10 minutes later, Andy came up to assure me it wasn't Bugs Bunny...um yeah...thanks dear.

I couldn't look at my little guy all day...today is a little bit better. But I still won't let him give me kisses.

This week has flown by...my mom is here for Miss Wisconsin and last night was the first show...there is one more night of prelims then Saturday are the finals...you may wonder why I'm so involved. My mom is the director for Miss Marinette...she got into it because I was Miss Northeast Wisconsin and competed for Miss Wisconsin in 1999. No I didn't place or anything, but now I still help out by writing, producing, hosting and performing the Miss Marinette pageant every fall.

I'll leave you with a photo of my pageant days....ahh the memories...

This is the only photo I have on my computer right now, but you should see the color of my hair...I was a redhead while I competed.

Feeling more positive...

2006-06-20T16:48:00.000-05:00

Ok...I'm starting to feel better mentally and more positive about everything. Even, dare I say it, excited? I'm really taking care of myself. I'm not letting myself get stressed.

As I said, I gave myself my first injections last night...not a problem. And the restaurant did make me a non-alcoholic drink for my martini and manicure night out with the girls. And it was yummy! It was a fun night...we had about 14 ladies. Fun night...hopefully more to come!

Miss Wisconsin is this week so I'm busy with that. Tonight my mom and I are going to a dinner for the contestants. Tomorrow is the parade and Thursday the show starts. It's a fun week...and I get to dress up and look pretty :D.

Ciao!

Tonight it starts...

2006-06-19T16:30:00.000-05:00

After a six month "vacation" from fertility woes, tonight I will start to give myself injections to prepare my body for insemination next week. I'm ready...I hope. So no alcohol, no coffee...but it's worth it...it will be worth it.

This is my second cycle with injectables. At first I was terrified...I hate looking at needles going into skin...so how was I going to stick myself in the stomach? It's really not bad at all. I use a "pen" with really tiny, thin needles. It's so easy. Really.

So this all starts on girls night out...Martinis and Manicures at the local restaurant. So only a manicure for me and hopefully they can make me a yummy non-alcoholic martini!

I'm scared...I'll admit it. This is such a horrible process...no matter what anyone says. You really have to be optimisic, but at the same time you have to protect your heart from dissappointment. Really...it's a loss. For two weeks after the IUI, IVF or whatever, you hope, you believe theres a baby...your baby...your child...you love your child, but then you may learn that your child was never really there in the first place...it's horrible. Infertility sucks! There's no way around it...it just sucks! Simple as that.

*********************************************

Ok, on to digi news...there's a new chat site...thanks to Shannon! Visit it here DigiShop Talk! So much fun and since its not affiliated with any store there are no rules about posting links and sales. However, I am a little sad about 2peas...so I'm going to let this drama all blow over, then continue to visit. But I have a feeling DigiShopTalk will become a new home!

Ciao ladies!

So my DH may not be a father...

2006-06-18T07:25:00.000-05:00

but I made him breakfast in bed this morning anyway!

Yes, that's how sweet I am! :D

Seriously though...my fellow "Friends" fans may remember the adoption episode in the last season where Chandler is trying to convince the girl to give him and Monica their baby? Well, he said something that had me in tears...I still tear up when I think of it. It's what keeps me going...he said (and I'm totally paraphrasing here) "My wife may not have a baby, but she's already a mother." Something like that...I really should find that exact quote...anyone know?

Anyway...it's so true...we don't have a baby...but inside we're really parents. We have changed so much of our lives since we started trying three years ago. Yes, I know there is so much more to parenting that I cannot grasp yet because I haven't gone through it...but I'm ready. My cycle started yesterday. Over the past couple weeks, I switched my coffee to green tea. (And you remember my earlier "Ode to Coffee" entry, you know this is a feat!) I eat Boca brats instead of regular ones. I make myself lettuce wraps instead of a sandwich...I'm watching my carbs. I religiously take my medications, especially my prenatals and my metformin. Since I don't have a baby to take care of...I'm taking the best care of myself so I can have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy life so I can enjoy motherhood to its fullest.

I've been plagued with depression lately...but I'm continuing my medication and trying to reduce stress. I've been doing my yoga and walking.

So this is the beginning of another cycle...the first since November. Since this has become my journal, I plan to write about it here...to get it out...perhaps to educate people who may not fully understand infertility...but mostly to get it out of my head. Since my struggle began, I have three other close friends who have been touched by this issue and many more I've met or heard of from other people. Having a baby is sooo easy for some...but I'm trying to represent those (1 in 6 couples) who have a hard time.

Ok...thanks for letting me get that out. On to scrapping...

I have to TOOT! Digital Memories Magazine has accepted one of my layouts for their summer issue!!! Yea! I'm not quite sure when it'll come out but keep checking...it's a great magazine!!!

I haven't done any shopping lately because I'm trying to use some things I have...but I've been so, so tempted! Did you see some of the new stuff at ScrapArtist? Beautiful!!!

Here are a couple layouts...

Hmm..well it seems I can't upload photos at the moment...I'll try again later.

Have a great Sunday!

Long time no blog...

2006-06-14T20:44:00.000-05:00

So it's been awhile since my last entry. Yes, I'm very much alive, but I've been experiencing some horrible pain in my back and neck. I have fibromyalgia and after a long time, it's acting up again. I think I need to go back to the chiropractor...I just need some relief!

So that's why I haven't been around. I did scrap one page however...thank goodness for Gina's sketches. Here's what I did...

Credits: kit-DDE Lucky Star by Gina Cabrera (downloaded from Simple Scrapbooks)

So that's all with me...pain...barely scrapping...hopefully I'll be better soon...I better anyway...next week we begin the next IUI cycle.

Thanks Ange and some new challenges...

2006-06-05T22:24:00.000-05:00

I won!

Every week Ange has a contest to win your favorite of her kits and I won her new kit "12" this week! Yea! More goodies...gotta get scrappin!

Ok...since the last 21 day challenge, I admit I haven't totally kept up my end of the bargain...I'm doing better but I really need to MOVE more. So I'm going to do the next 21 day challenge and Sara Carling's Get Healthy Challenge. This week she asked that we complete a layout about self image...and since she was so brave on hers...I'm brave on mine. I listed my weight...not pretty. Also the now photo is not altered or Photoshopped at all. This is painful...but here you go...{notice I used Sara's beautiful Grace kit, available at The Sweet Shoppe}

My goal is to lose 15 pounds by my 10 year class reunion Aug. 11 and 12. Realistic right? I'm continuing with Weight Watchers and trying to adapt healthful habits to help with my PCOS, which is the root of all my problems (weight gain, infertilty...on and on). And since I'm working part time now...I have more time to take care of myself so no excuses for not working out or the very least walking every day.

Of course, everything is null and void, if God decides to bless us with a baby. I probably just jinxed myself...ah...I don't believe in all that anyway.

So here you go...the down and dirty, non-Photoshopped truth. Let's just hope it comes off for good and I won't have to spend so much time fixing my hips and stomach and actually scrapping!

Four years ago today...

2006-06-01T13:52:00.000-05:00

I married my best friend and the love of my life!

Credits: Summer Whimsy kit from ScrapArtist, magnetic poetry by e-scrappers.com

Where did the years go? We've been through so much and have so much more to look forward to. Tonight I think we're going to stay in (saving for a house!) and order pizza. (I know soo romantic, but we were in Germany just last week!) I did buy a bottle of wine and I'm in the process of sprucing up the house so we can just enjoy each other...yes, I am a lucky girl!

And with the beginning of June, my appointment as a guest CT member for Gina Miller Designs has come to an end. It was a great month! Gina's designs are beautiful and I really did get a lot done, despite the fact I was away for one week. Here's a collection of my completed layouts...

I'm pretty proud of these. I really think my style is developing...but I'll never stick to one. I change too much. But I do like my double page layouts!

But as a final plug for Gina Miller Designs...be sure to check out her new CD collection-Designer's Studio!

This is 10 gorgeous kits with EVERYTHING!!! It's on sale right now so run (don't walk) and pick this baby up! (Click on the photo for the link!)

Well I have to get ready for dinner with my hubby! Ciao for now!

I've seen beauty...

2006-05-29T20:24:00.000-05:00

and now you can too...

Credits: papers-Artlines Blackburn by Tracy Ann Robinson (Scrapbook Bytes), bronze beads from Dots a Fun kit by Cottage Arts; filters-nik Color Efex Pro 2.0 GE (Monday Morning Violet and Graduated Blue)

Obviously I mean the castle...not the layout (but I'm pretty proud of the layout too;))

Germany is one gorgeous country. The history is just amazing and of course, tragic. We saw it all...the 2,000 year old city Kempten, the fairytale castle Neuschwanstein, the famous Marianplatz with the glockenspiel in Munich, but also we toured the memorial of the Dachau concentration camp.

Over the week I'll share more about my trip with photos (or lack of photos in the case of Dachau). I don' want to forget this trip anytime soon! But I'm still pretty tired. Ciao!

Guten Tag...

2006-05-27T17:20:00.000-05:00

or is it Guten Nacht? I'm really not sure!

But Germany is a gorgeous place! So full of history that I've never seen before.

I will have a more detailed itinary up this weekend...but my body is telling me it's almost 12:30 a.m. even though the clock tells me I should be eating dinner.

Anyway I did complete one layout on the plane...so I'll leave you with that...

Credits: Get Creative kit by Gina Miller (Scrapbook Bytes) [see link for kit in previous post]; font-Pea Jordan; sketch by Gina Miller

The sun is finally out...

2006-05-15T19:24:00.000-05:00

After a week of dreary, cloudy, rainy skies, the sun has finally poked its way through and the sky is a brilliant blue...I hope it stays!

Well I didn't make it past the round 2 of the Ultimate Digi-Scrapper contest. No worries, though. I mean I was a little disappointed when I found out I wasn't going through, but all I wanted when I entered was the make it to round 2 (which I did). And I got almost three pages of good comments on my Round 2 layout...so I really can't complain. So now I'm cheering on the sidelines! I want to publically thank the judges and organizers of this contest and I really hope you do it again next year!

OMG! Did you see Gina's new kit that was released today?

(Click photo to go to store)

So cool! I can't wait to use this one!

I did scrap one page this weekend...

Credits: paper-Delicate Petals from Garden Treasures by Gina Miller; glitter border by Gina Miller; brushes from Distressing kit by Nancie Rowe Janitz; fonts-Arial Narrow and Pea Sara

Yes, that's me! I'm singing Popular from Wicked during the Miss Marinette Area pageant last year. No, not as a contestant (I'm past that!), but as a host and performer. I look forward to it every October!

Are you as excited as I am for Grey's Anatomy tonight? Can you believe the cliffhanger yesterday!? 10 More minutes...

Ultimate page #2...

2006-05-10T22:21:00.000-05:00

Here is my next page for the Ultimate Digi Scrapper contest. Half are getting cut this time...and there is some AWESOME work there! I do like this page though....hopefully the judges will too!

Take a look and let me know what you think! Thanks!

Ok, let's try this again...

2006-05-10T12:56:00.000-05:00

Here are the layouts I did using Gina Miller Designs...

{Oh Brother}

Credits: kit-Teal Explosion by Gina Miller (www.scrapbookbytes.com); font-CK Elmer

{True Love}

Credits: papers-Eclectic Assortment from Garden Treasures 2 by Gina Miller (www.scrapbookbytes.com); Funky Alpha by Gina Miller (blog freebie); Flourish brushes by Michelle Coleman (www.scrapartist.com)

Here they are! Ciao!

Yes, it's true...

2006-05-09T20:21:00.000-05:00

In less than two weeks I will make my first trip over the ocean to Germany. When I said in my last post I was surprised...I really was. This is the sixth time Andy has gone since we've been married for work and I never had a chance to go before. So when this trip came up, I assumed I would have to stay home again....nope...Andy surprised me Friday night by telling me he had tickets on reserve if I wanted to go. The conversation went like this...

"I have a proposition for you," said Andy.

This never leads to anything good. Usually this means I have to do some kind of manual labor.

"What?" I ask.

"Wait a minute," he replied and stepped into the bathroom.

Eye roll from me.

"Am I going to like it?" I call a minute later.

"No," he shouted. "Leave me alone for a minute."

Toilet flush, water runs and the door opens.

"What is it?" I'm getting impatient now.

"How would you like to go to Germany with me?" he asks.

Then he lists a few requirements...I would be alone at the hotel one day while he works, I may be on a different flight...yada yada yada...

"So wanna go?"

"Really?"

"Your tickets are on reserve."

"Um yeah...I wanna go."

And that's how I came to go to Germany...in two weeks...I'm still in shock :D

So anyway...I've been doing some scrapping lately. This weeks Ultimate Scrapper assignment is going to be a tough one...I need to take some more self portraits and sure enough I have a huge zit! Then I realized...I have healing brush...Why can't I have healing brush in real life?

I have done a couple using Gina Miller's designs as a part of my obligations as a guest creative team member:

Ok...I'll have to post these tomorrow...Blogger has other ideas...Come back then...

I made it!...

2006-05-07T21:05:00.000-05:00

Ok...remember I entered the Ultimate Digi Scrapper contest?

I made it into the second round!

:D :D

I'm pretty happy right now!!!

Oh yeah...

and I'm also going to Germany in two weeks...

Surprised?

Yeah...me too!

Happy Birthday Stephanie....

2006-05-04T12:07:00.000-05:00

(2 days early)

But today is her Friday as she's off on a fun weekend with her hubby to celebrate...
So stop by her blog and give her some birthday lovin'!

Perhaps I'm nuts...

2006-05-04T08:55:00.000-05:00

Maybe I'm setting myself up for punishment...I really don't know.

Why?

I entered the Ultimate Digi Scrapper contest. *hide under a blanket*

*peek out*

I really don't know what to expect...I mean 377 scrappers entered...and only 200 will go on to the next round...that's my goal...to make it to the next round.

I stayed up late last night working on my entry...this week we have to feature our best photo. Due to the rules of the contest, I can't post my layout here, but you can see it by clicking here.

From there you can click on the gallery and see the others' ladies work...there's some stiff competition here!

I used this photo before, but my layout had to be new. The page looks simple, but it actually took me 2 hours. Is it too simple? What do you think?

I LOVE this photo though. It's of Andy playing in the dunes last summer. This photo represents everything I love about him...his fun-loving nature, especially.

I'll find out on Sunday if I make it to the next level...wish me luck and if you get a chance leave me some love...

Happy Birthday to One Foxy Momma....

2006-05-02T09:52:00.000-05:00

And here she is...

Credits: papers-Garden Treasures 2 Cherry Blossom by Gina Miller; stitches-Stitch Essentials:Revamped by Gina Miller; fonts-CK Renaissance and CK Regal

Don't I come from one good looking family? Yes, this incredibly young woman is my mother! She would kill me if I told you her age, so I won't...but you seriously wouldn't believe me anyway. Isn't she gorgeous?! Love you Mom!

And since I'm a multi-tasker, I couldn't resist using Gina's beautiful Garden Treasures line when making this card/layout. I LOVE these new stitches also! They are so realistic and you get so many colors and styles...so you must go to Scrapbook Bytes and pick these babies up! You won't be disappointed!

Now for your friendly driving report---don't speed!

Yesterday I was driving back home, minding my own business...thinking of new layouts and scrapping ideas (what else do you do in the car?)...when a friendly state trooper stopped me to point out I was going 60 mph in a 50 mph zone. When I get pulled over...I don't argue...Yes...I was going too fast...No...I'm not rushing anywhere. Fortunately for my driving record (which is completely clean now) he gave me a warning. And I will be thinking of new scrapping ideas only in the shower were I cannot hurt anyone...lesson learned.

I also want to thank Stephanie for her sweet congratulations yesterday! We actually met through Gina's blog and have become great friends! Thanks Steph!

Excuse me...I need to TOOT...

2006-05-01T11:50:00.000-05:00

I got a little surprise in my e-mail box yesterday...it was the fabulous Gina Miller asking little ol' me if I wanted to be one of her guest creative team members for the month of May! What did I say? Well after jumping around the room...I managed to compose myself to reply with an estatic yes! I am so excited and can't wait to get started! If you are familiar with her work and the work of her equally fabulous team...you are well aware I have a lot to live up to....but it's a challenge I'm willing to take! So stay tuned for some layouts featuring Gina's work!

Even though I was visiting friends in Madison all weekend, I did manage to get two layouts done last night:

Credits: kit-Spring Renewal by Digital Memories Magazine Design Team; font-CK Magnificent

Credits: kit-Five and a half by Angedawn; brushes by Nancie Rowe Janitz; font-CK Man's Script

The previous one makes more sence with this one that I did for Gina's sketch challenge at Scrapbook Bytes.

Credits: kit-Five and a half by Angedawn; brushes by Nancie Rowe Janitz

And as I write this...Gina left me a comment about my bad day post below that I had to announce my good news....LOL!

In other news...

Happy Birthday Grandpa Joe!

Well apparently Grandpa doesn't wish I post his photo today! Unfortunately I never met him as he died in 1971 a few months before my parents married. If he were still living he would be the ripe age of 111-years-old (and no...that's not a typo!) Let's try that photo again so you can see how handsome he was...

Blogger wouldn't let me, but I found a way...Tomorrow you'll see his daughter, my mom as her birthday is tomorrow.

Ok...well I've rambled enough...as you can tell my bad day has turned around!

Bad Day....

2006-04-27T16:44:00.000-05:00

You know that song? Sometimes it just fits...like today...I'm PMSing and am soooo irritable...and bloated...I'm just not a joy to be around. (Thank goodness you guys only know me online...LOL!)

Anyway, I picked this day to be inspired to take a self-portrait. Hey...but that's what we do right...document the good and bad? I found a sunny window and took some self-portraits. Well, I had the song "Bad Day" in my head and was compelled to scrap my photos.

Here is the result:

Credits: kit-Boho Chic by Michelle Coleman (ScrapArtist), brushes-Distressing kit from ScrapArtist, font-Susie's Hand; filter-Visual Photographer

Is it conceited that I really LOvE this page? This is the style I've wanted to capture for awhile, and of course, Michelle Coleman's papers and designs don't hurt (I'm becoming a huge fan!).

Creativity has always been my release when I'm down. When I was in high school I wrote books and books of poetry--full of teenage angst...but so revealing. I look back now and I was pretty good. Now I don't have that same release or artistic freedom to write that way again. I blame that on years of news writing classes for my journalism major.

Singing has always been a release for me also. There's nothing better than belting out a song that expresses exactly how you feel. I do that when I'm happy, sad, angry...whatever. It really helps...I'm sure I get many odd looks when I'm screaming Janis Joplin's Piece of my Heart in the car...but oh well...that's there problem...not mine. (See I told you I was a piece of work today)

Thanks for letting me share. A question for you...what helps you on a bad day?

A new layout...

2006-04-26T16:57:00.000-05:00

I actually scrapped again last night! You know it really does make me feel better...I think I was going through withdrawls.

Anyway...I wanted to finish Gina's sketch for Scrapbook Bytes which is due Thursday...thank goodness this was a two week challenge! I had photos of an art project Oshkosh took part in two summers ago so I thought the sketch was perfect for these, but I wanted to do a two page spread...I'm rather proud of it...what do you think?

Credits: Papers-ChocoBerry by Angie Briggs; daisy brush--my own design

Well...my infertility treatment has been moved back...probably to June. Andy has to go to Germany for work the week we'd probably have to go in. I'm dissappointed, but I'm actually going to go part time with my job starting in June so it will work out anyway. So that's where we are today. Oh...BTW...my stomach is finally used to the Metformin so life is so much better.

Well...there are weeds that need to be pulled and seeds that need to be planted...Ciao!

Thank you...

2006-04-24T19:27:00.000-05:00

I want to thank everyone who commented on my last entry...I really appreciated reading each one! The doctor's office called and I'm not pregnant...not that I was thinking I was.

But I'm sure feeling pregnant right now. With Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) I have to take a diabetic medication, Metformin (commonly known as Glucophase). Why? I really don't know. I hadn't taken it for awhile and just started last Monday...I started to feel the affects on Saturday. I'm absolutely sick to my stomach. The thing is it only feels better when I eat, but who feels like eating when they feel like throwing up? Hopefully I'll only feel this way for another couple days, as my stomach gets used to it.

Have you been to the $1 Spot at Target lately? Andy and I are getting ready to start working outside and Target has some cute, cute gardening stuff! I had heard about the galvanized tins (which are ADORABLE!, btw!) I picked up some of the seed kits. I'm not sure if they'll work, but they're cute.

I'll keep you posted!

What to blog about now?...

2006-04-19T20:19:00.000-05:00

Now that the 21-day challenge is done...what do I blog about? Hmmm...

My New Favorite Products!

{ok...temporarily hijacking my own blog...WTF?! Chris in the bottom two?!!! Com'on people!!!!!! Something had to be wrong because I tried forever to get through but couldn't}

Back to your regularly scheduled blogging

In my recent shopping excursions I've found some new beauty products that I'm actually happy about...this doesn't happen too often Like many I have bags and boxes of stuff I bought that basically was crap.

Here's the first:

Sally Hansen Healing Beauty 18 Hour Lip Conditioner

I love lip gloss, but it's so hard finding the one that 1) lasts 2) has a good color and 3) doesn't feel gloopy. I bought Clear Sugar Cane. The color actually lasts a long time...ok not 18 hours, but you don't need to reapply all day. The color is a little shimmery, but not sparkly. It really conditions your lips and THATS where you notice the 18 hour. Great product...run for this one!

Coppertone Endless Summer Gradual Tan

I have to thank Stephanie for this little find! (Thanks Steph!) Last summer I was a huge fan of the Jergens' gradual tan...but this stuff works faster and smells better. Great stuff here!

And finally:

Revlon Fabulash Mascara

This is a quest I've been on for some time now...the perfect mascara...and I think I may have found it...or something close to it. Actually the perfect mascara is not made anymore. It was the first stuff I ever used called Maybellene Featherlash, I think. Anyway...Fabulash...this stuff is not clumpy, but it thickens like a dream. I already have long lashes, so I really can't judge on it's lenghthening abilities.

In other news...

Today I met with my doctor to discuss the next step of our process to parenthood. Nothing came at too much of a surprise...he recommended trying IUI with injectables two more times before moving on to other procedures, namely IVF. Of course before I can start anything I had to take a pregnancy test, which I'll get the results of tomorrow. Wouldn't that be something? I really doubt I'm pregnant now, but it would be so nice not worrying about this anymore. However, the chances of me getting pregnant naturally is slim to none with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I'm incredibly nervous...IVF is so expensive and our insurance doesn't cover it. Adoption is just as expensive...but I'm sorry, I really want my own biological child right now. I want to experience pregnancy. I have nothing against adoption at all and if we do adopt I will love our child just as much as if he or she came from my body, but I want to give my body all the chances it has. That's not too much to ask right?

Well, that's all for tonight. Bed is callin' my name....

I did it!

2006-04-17T21:45:00.000-05:00

We did it!!! 21 days! I'm ready to continue with my journey! Today I called and I have an appointment with my doctor on Wednesday.

I want to thank everyone for their support and comments during these last couple weeks.

Congrats to everyone who participated!!!

Day 18...

2006-04-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

Last night was a bad night. I went to the doc to have a growing mole removed and got weighed in. I haven't lost anything! I'm so frustrated!!!

Although this challenge is working, because 18 days ago I would've went home grabbed some cookies and sat on the couch and cried...instead I went home and worked out. So that's a plus.

Anyway, I did make the decision to go back to Weight Watcher meetings. I haven't been since last fall and sadly gained most of my weight back. I tried to do it alone, but I need something to make myself accountable...so this is it. So today I went back...it's a first step.

Spring has Sprung....

2006-04-13T14:39:00.000-05:00

Look what I found this morning....my daffodils! Ok...I had nothing to do with these....they were here long before we moved in. But aren't they pretty? Usually we don't get this many, but this is actually one of two patches.

Spring is finally here!

Last night, I tried to take Dakota for a walk. Dakota's our 90 pound lab, who doesn't walk on a leash very well...ok not at all. We walked five blocks than came back and I finished my walk. She was crazy...barking, jumping, trying to run. What an upper arm workout though.

Yes, I've accepted the fact I looked like the neighborhood fool!

But it was so GORGEOUS outside yesterday. Temps in the low 70's and sunny. I was supposed to go to step class, but
why when you've been cooped up all winter?

Not too much longer and I'll be hanging up the hammock!