Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Update

I wish I could say there's good news, but it has been a roller coaster couple weeks. I don't know where to start so I guess I'll start with our first hCG test.

5/19--I went to the doctor at 8 a.m. for my blood test. My IVF clinic in Michigan was going to get the results then call us after noon. I had taken a half day off so I could be home in case it was bad news. I really didn't know what to think. I had been having definite symptoms, but I was taking progesterone and estrogen. Around 10 a.m., my nurse from my local clinic called. My test was positive! I was pregnant! I ran downstairs (Andy and I work for the same company) and ran into Andy's office. "You're going to be a daddy!" We went outside. We couldn't believe it...we were shocked! However, we decided not to say anything because we had another test on Wednesday. I still took the afternoon off. I went to the bookstore and bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting," which I had been waiting to do for 5 years.

5/21--Another 8 am test. This time the results call came right before lunch. Not great news...my hCG level was 70, (it was 53 on Monday). So my levels did not double. We were told not to worry because sometimes it takes longer to rise than 48 hours. I was fine at first, but went home for lunch and just broke down. I ended up calling in and not going back to work. I had to test again on Friday.

5/23--I took the day off. I was terrified. The call came at 12:30. My level was 68. I was going to lose the baby. I was devastated. I stopped the hormones. So Memorial Day weekend was not a joyful one.

5/27--I had another test to verify my hCG levels were still going down. Nope...it was 98. At this point I was 5 weeks so my numbers should have been much higher. An ectopic pregnancy was suspected.

5/29--Another test...204! Now it doubled! Deep in my heart I was hoping that my baby was still fighting, but my levels were way too low.

6/1--Our 6 year anniversary...it was pretty quiet. We went to dinner and I allowed myself a glass of wine with my meal.

6/2--Beginning of 6 weeks...still pregnant. We both went to my ultrasound. Since my levels were still rather low we really couldn't see anything, but a black looking cyst near the opening on my left fallopian tube was suspicious of ectopic. Sure enough my hCG levels continued to rise (599). However, the pregnancy was not going to develop. That afternoon I was given a shot of methotrexate to break up any embryonic tissue in my tubes.

Methotrexate is also used for chemotherapy, only I was given a much smaller dose. Nonetheless, I've been very sick.

So that's it. I need to have two more blood tests to verify my hormones are going back down. If not, I will have to have surgery. It's been the worst two weeks of my life...at least now I can finally move on.

We do have 5 embryos waiting for us though. We'll probably try again in August. It all depends when my body goes back to normal.

5 comments:

jennifer woodbury said...

I am so sorry Melissa. I know how devastated you must feel. I am glad you'll have another chance to try later this year, but I know that doesn't take away the pain you're feeling now. :(

Stephanie said...

Oh Melissa, I'm so saddened for you and Andy. I know how much you've longed for this and I know how much you're hurting. Please know you will continue to be in my prayers. Take whatever time you need to heal. I'm here for you.

Teresa said...

Been thinking about you....and now sitting here with tears for you guys. :( I'm so sorry....I hope you'll have the strength to try again later this year - as always, prayers being sent up again and again! :) {{HUGS}}

Gina said...

No. :( I have been checking in here everyday waiting for some happy news. I am so sorry Melissa!! ((hugs))

Jodie said...

{{Hugs}} I am so sorry.