Monday, December 11, 2006

Wha? Ya mean this blog doesn't update itself?

I'm alive! Really I am...I've been a great scrapper (if you've checked my gallery), but just a bad blogger...wanna know why? Really it's a poor excuse. I wanted to redress my blog for Christmas, but have really been too lazy to do so. Told ya...

I've also been a rollercoaster of emotions lately. I really don't know whether to laugh or cry, so I've done a lot of both. This time of year is always emotional for me and has been for the past four years. Every Christmas I always say this will be the last as a childless couple, however, Christmas seems to find its way back and we're still in the same place.

I still don't have a job, but I've been doing customer service for a cheese and sausage company until the 19th...which has it's ups and downs. Mostly it had been good, but someone yesterday said something to me that struck me to the very core of my confidence. I can't even write it here as it's still too fresh. It's amazing how much words really hurt.

I wrote a letter to Santa this first in a while. Actually it was a scrapbook page.

Credits here

Ok...I really don't mean for this to be a depressing first post in such a long while. Actually I have been doing quite well. I feel like my depression is lifting. And that is the most wonderful news. That black blanket is slowly being pulled from my eyes and I'm starting to see color again. And this is what I wanted before we decided what our next step was in creating our family. Now we will be saving money for IVF. Anyone have an extra $20,000 lying around? Unfortunately that means my scrapping budget will have to be greatly decreased (more than usual)...thank goodness for the designers who've asked me to be on their CTs! But don't worry...once we receive that gift we long so much for, I and my Paypal account will be back! :D

And to finish...I've been tagged so if you've made it this far, Shannon is the reason I'm back!

I'm tagging Steph, Julie, Jen, Ange and Teresa

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate with tons and tons of marshmallows, plus an extra couple on the side.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Santa of course, who else would do it?

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? All white...I just love it!

4. Do you hang mistletoe? I don't need!

5. When do you put your decorations up? The closest weekend to Dec. 1.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Mashed potatoes and gravy!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child. Santa would always stop at my Grandma's house before he started out on his long journey. He always would bring my cousin's an I one gift each, then we would remind him what we wanted him to bring to our house later that night. To keep us busy until he came, my Grandma would hide sticks of spearmint gum and we'd play "hot and cold." Once my little brother who was scared of Santa (well he's 27 now) was looking for his gum by the front door when Santa rang his jingle bells and shouted out a "HO, HO, HO!" The look on his face!!! (only a big sister could appreciate that story!)

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? uh....what do you mean?

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes...and I'm always the one who starts this's my right and it wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Our tree this year is a pretty balsam with white lights, silver beads, a white and silver star and red and silver bulbs. We also hang our special ornaments like our Hallmark ones that we collect each year.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? If it would snow only from Dec. 22 to Dec. 27...maybe the 28th I would be happy. I like to look at it...from inside with a hot cup of coaco in my hands.

12. Can you ice skate? don't do anything in the winter besides what was described in question 11.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? hmmm...this is a hard one...Andy and I usually don't exchange gifts...Oh! I remember the favorite gift I gave! My mom was in love with a particular piece of art that depicted a bride on her wedding day with the ghost of her mother behind her (can't remember the painter). She saw it on vacation and kicked herself later because she didn't buy it. I found a plate with the image on it and purchased it on eBay from a store in Canada, however, a day later was Sept. 11th, 2001. The plate was stuck in Canada, but fortunately it arrived on time. She love it!

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? I love getting together with family. I love that good feeling.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Without a second thought...pumpkin pie!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Getting the dogs in the car and driving around the park with all the lights while listening to Christmas music.

17. What tops your tree? A star.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving, not only because I love seeing peoples faces when they open what I give them, but also because I can shop all I want and not feel guilty for one month. (So is that like giving something to myself and it doesn't count?)

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas sung by Judy Garland (Shannon, I can't change this...I get chills when I hear this!)

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
I've eaten half a box already....Kelvin and Dakota help me though.

Tag you're it! (Copy, paste and share on your blog) Leave me a comment with a link to your blog so I can check out your answers too!

And in case I don't make it back here for another month...have a Merry, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Wonderful New Year!


Kathy Moore said...

Well, first, your journaling brought tears to my eyes. Second, though my store isn't up now, my stuff will be going up at ElementalScraps soon and if you see something you want, you just let me know, okay? We were fortunate enough to have insurance when we did our IVF, but it was cancelled retroactive to the procedure and I'm still paying for it (no regrets, of course)...still, I know how expensive it is and will help keep you scrapping while you save :) if I can.

Glad to hear you're feeling better and you're in my thoughts!

Stephanie said...

Your gallery is rockin'! You have been keeping very busy. People really suck sometimes. For some reason there are those who think they can say whatever pops into their little brains at that moment no matter how hurtful it may be. Sorry you were the recipient of someone's rudeness!

We're in the same boat with having to save up for the next IVF if that is what the doctor recommends this time. At least we had one paid for, even if it wasn't successful. I'm still praying for miracles for the both of us!

"Thanks" for the tag, now I have to blog too. Ugh. ;)

Julie said...

Thanks for the tag chica! I'll take care of that tomorrow :)

As for the other, I wish there was something I could say to help. John and I are childless by choice, but there are still times I get little twinges of regret. I hope you guys are able to fulfill this dream of yours. Stay strong!

Teresa said...

Awww....I'm not sure what to say, but I just wanted to send some love your way. I hope hope hope with all my heart that your dreams do come true and you have a little one sooner than you think. I'm also really sorry to hear you had to take the brunt of someone's own inability to express themselves IRL and took it out on you- customer service is TOUGH. Hoping you find something that's rewarding and deserving of your abilities very soon! :)

Thanks for the tag! Maybe I'll actually update my blog....LOL.